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7 years - will I ever trust him?

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Hi, I will try and keep this short. I discovered 7 years ago that my husband was addicted to internet porn. He had also put intimate photos of me on a wife lovers site - these photos were only for him to look at privately cos he worked away quite often. To say I was devastated is an understatement. We had been married nearly 20 years at that point and had 3 children living at home. I instinctively went into protective mode - the kids must never know. At the time we attended church and my husband had just become a Christian - he said God had helped him stop and he hadn’t done it for 2 months. I chose to forgive him. 7 years on, he won’t ever talk about it, there are reminders everywhere, online and tv, he says I try and hurt him if I need to talk about it, he wants to forget it ever happened and accuses me of making it worse for him if I want to ask him anything. On the face of it we are a perfect couple, the kids have never found out and he tells everyone how happy we are etc, but I can’t ever imagine myself getting over it. I feel I am keeping the most awful secret. I often feel worthless and ugly despite him assuring me I’m not. He often fails to get it up or keep it up which has happened for most of our marriage and the porn he looked at also included gay porn - he posted intimate photos of himself on these sites saying he is bysexual - he refuses to discuss this and says it was porn confusing him. Sorry this post is so long but I just want to know if there’s any hope for us or for me not to b jealous of every woman he talks to 


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