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First direct question from my wife...

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I've been keeping a journal here for the last month for anyone wanting to see where I am at - http://paulahall.co.uk/forum/index.php?/topic/621-i-love-my-wife-and-children-i-want-to-be-with-them-again/


Just had a mail from my wife with the first direct question - "Were you hooking up with people for sex while we were together?"

The truthful answer should be "Yes, my porn addiction escalated to me meeting people in real life, I met a couple of women via sex hookup sites, I met and paid several female sex workers for sex, I met up with several men from gay/bi sex hook up sites"

What is the right level of disclosure?  I know that if I am to beat my sex/porn addiction I definitely need to be 100% truthful to my therapist, to SAA and most of all to myself, but how much do I tell to my wife so that I am not harbouring more lies from her but also not completely crushing her?

I would welcome thoughts and experiences of anyone who has had to face this or similar questions.

Thank you.

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I have finally been able to write a reply to my wife and will send it to her shortly.  It was incredibly difficult, but I have told her everything.  I didn't go in to numbers or dates or anything like that, but I told her the topics and the things she wanted to know about.  I told her I love her and that I am ashamed of what I wrote about and scared of what will happen from here on.  I told her too of me attending SAA, LFF and seeing a therapist.  I am committed to being a better person and that, at least, is something to hold on to for now.

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