I really need help

[sunbeam32]

Hi,

I'm in my 30s and have been seeing prostitutes since I was 16. I have been with my wife for 13 years and I have still been secretly seeing prostitutes/escorts . I love my wife so much but due to a condition she has, we never get intimate. I know this is not an excuse but I feel so lonely. 

This has now led on to me trying to getting into personal relationships with escorts. I know it would never work (previous experience) but I get some kind of kick from it. I seem to get this love sick feeling, especially from one I have been seeing. I need help to stop. I've already been diagnosed with PTSD and acute anxiety. This habit will just top me off. 

[Christine]

You can recover from this addiction and find other ways to manage past traumatic issues that have led to this need to self soothe and address the anxiety, have a look at the success stories on the forum and be encouraged - their is hope. Christine

[PJ]

Hi Sunbeam

Yep - that sounds tough, and it sounds like you hate the place you find yourself in - at the same time you don't want to give it up.  In fact, if you are anything like me - there is real fear about having it give it up.  It is easy to feel trapped.  In profound conflict.

I suspect it all feels so big to deal with.  

I think you might find it helpful to take a step at a time.  The first step is to get some help.  You won't be able to beat this on your own.  

I would encourage you to either try Paula's therapists/courses and/or a 12 step group.  There are 3 that focus on Sex Addiction.  I use SAA.  The groups vary enormously even within the same organisation - so if one doesn't work, try another.  And I would go several times before you make a judgement.

I would also encourage you to use the many on-line resources.  This page is very helpful; http://paulahall.co.uk/forum/index.php?/topic/505-online-resources-for-addicts-wanting-help/

I wish you well.