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Essex addict

Lost everything

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I am 47 and tried to dismiss the fact that I have a problem. Now I’ve been found out and have lost everything. My marraige is over, my boys look both digusted and devastated. I will be moving out as soon a rental can be found.

I feel ashamed, guilty, hate myself - i have destroyed everything i have sent the last 20 years building. 

All because i wanted to act out.

My wife forgave me twice already, i have no right to ask for a third. I have hurt those closest to me. I’m not sure if i’m beyond help. 

Soon to be divorced!

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Hi Yiksob,

thank you for your advice. I think you are right. I called another councilling service today but they dont deal with any forms of addiction. 

I read your post and my heat broke. I was brutally hard on my son when we discovered he had urges. I know, and me hidding my own addiction (pot kettle) Maybe he has inherited a faulty gene? 

i’m in no position to be offering advise...but... talk to your mum before she discovers it herself.  Its easier to chat about it when everyone is calm rather then having to explain your actions when tempers are raised.

good luck!! 

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Hi Essex addict

Sorry to hear your addiction has got you into such a mess.  What support are you getting?

There is hope.  You may feel it is hopeless but it is at rock bottom that we have the greatest chance of recovery, and in recovery we can rebuild our lives.  I would encourage you to use this rock bottom to do what has to be done to get free from this stuff.

Keep coming back.


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