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Starting on a Journey...hopefully

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Hi Folks,

Not really sure what I hope to get from this but it seemed like it couldn't hurt to make a post.

I'm 27 and I've been a sex addict possibly for as long as 15 years. In the last couple of years I've realised that I'd never be able to beat it by myself, but I've been travelling a lot so conventional therapy etc haven't been an option.

Anyway, in the last couple of weeks I've started talking to my girlfriend about my problems, I've signed up for an online therapy thing (I regret it, it's been a poor service and is quite expensive, but it's a step nonetheless), and I'm writing this post here.

My behaviour has been better, the accountability that comes with involving others in my perspective seems to give me a chance to make a decision whether to act out or now, and I'd never been able to think like that previously. I have had problems with all sorts of progressively worsening behaviours from staring at porn magazines as an adolescent, to meeting strangers for casual sex. I'm reaching a stage in my life where I think if I don't get help then another 15 years will flash by and I'll have wasted half of my life with this problem (and my girlfriend certainly won't be around).

I hope there is some hope out there. I'm at the very start and I'm not sure if I'm ready for the challenges ahead.





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Hey FarNorth,

Congrats on starting your journey. You are not alone in your struggles. For sure you can beat this. Try the free self help document on paula hall website it has really helped me.

Warm regards


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I think you have made the best start - and that is honesty.  In my experience, being honest with others helps us to be honest with ourselves and for me that has been the most powerful tool for recovery.  The 12 step programme says that honesty is a pre-requisite for recovery.

I too looked at the road I was on - I realised that if I stayed on the road I would be in even deeper trouble.  The problem with addiction is you need a greater hit to get you as high as the previous time.  So for most it just gets worse and worse.  I have a mate in Sex Addicts Anon who is very serious about how it is a matter of life and death.  This addiction can lead to death - and therefore is a matter of life and death.  It sounds dramatic but the logic is sound.

I go to 12 step meetings and we regularly get people who have just been caught by the police for illegal stuff and end up in prison.  This stuff can get us into deep trouble - it is worth throwing everything at it at this stage.  Don't hold back - do everything you can and need to, to kick the addiction.

I wish you well.


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