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Struggling spouse

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My husband has been unknowingly addicted to porn since, we believe, he was a teenager. We met and issues arised around having sex. He was unable to keep an erection and ejaculation was impossible without porn. Unfortunately his issues are deep seated. Throughout our relationship he has managed to stay off the porn for periods of time in which the impotence became less of an issue but he has always gone back to porn, especially at stressful times. Since we married he has found staying off porn more difficult and as we want to try for children we are finding ourselves in a difficult situation. The stress of wanting to conceive and the issues around porn and the impotence that it causes is putting a huge toll on our relationship. We have searched for support but have not found any services which are appropriate for our situation. Any advice?

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It might be helpful to find someone who can support you both in your relationship who is trained at dealing with porn addiction but who is also a trained sex therapist. It might also help to visit your GP and talk through the issues and to look at whether there are any medical aspects of the issue,  The site that this forum belongs to - 'The Laurel Centre' has trained therapists who could provide the appropriate support around relationships, sex, porn addiction and wanting to have a baby why not give them a ring and ask to speak with a therapist who is also trained in sex therapy. Your partner may need to address his underlying issues which led to the addiction as part of a recovery process and having a period of sexual abstinence, alongside recovery may help to reboot his system so that things improve for the future. Take care Christine 

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