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718jojo

So sad and feeling like there is just no hope

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Hi all,

I have been in a relationship with my husband for 5 years and we/he have battled with his addiction to dating websites which he uses like porn and his acting out is getting progressively worse and worse. He has always gone out driving so he can access the site and go and meet women and admits to having physical contact with them in various forms ( says no sex but obviously that’s unlikely ) Unfortunately he left his phone line open by accident and I had the hideous experience of listening to it happening live just before Christmas. We have talked and talked and cried lots about this endless cycle of lying followed by huge remorse, guilt and shame and despite going through the NHS for help we have got nowhere during covid. I feel abandoned by the services and I don’t feel I have anywhere left to turn now. We have a beautiful 2 year old and I know he loves us both deeply but he can’t control this addiction and in turn it’s now controlling me. I so want to keep my family together but it’s looking so unlikely now that I am devastated. I know there is not a question here for anyone to answer but hearing other people’s stories makes me feel just a little less alone. 

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Hi Jo Jo.  Welcome to the Forum and very sorry to hear your story. As you will see from other posts your experience is very similar but of course that does not take away your hideous experience and associated feelings. If you have not already seen the blogs have a look at this one.

The partner’s journey through sex addiction (thelaurelcentre.co.uk)

I hope others might be able to share their own experiences, but firstly look after yourself and don't make any quick decisions.

So sorry to hear that your husband is struggling with HIS addiction. He has to OWN this himself and you cannot fix it for him, however I point to the following blog which may be of help.

Want to beat your sex addiction? Don’t walk alone (thelaurelcentre.co.uk)

 

 

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Thanks so much for your reply! Your absolutely right, the action has to come from him and I have to focus on me and building myself back up. I will have a look at your suggested posts, and thanks again for your kind response xx

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Hi 718jojo,

I am so sorry that you are going through this. You are not alone. Please get your husband to look at my post. This is where this addiction can lead if he doesn’t address it and get help. I am very sure he wouldn’t want that! 
Take care of you and your child first and foremost and get as much help as you can. It really is not your fault. It is his battle that he needs to undertake. xxxx

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