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Potter

Lost and confused

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My story is hard I found out in jan 2019 my daughter took a overdose as she was addicted to cocaine I had no idea in February I found out my husband had a sex addiction my life changed.  Lockdown this year has been a blessing for all of us my daughter got clean rehab and therapy my husband with joint therapy but now life has got hard we never discussed us we were concentrating on our daughter not us.  She is good now but our relationship is on the rocks he refuses to sleep in our bed and only has sex when he feels like it not when I want to.  
I feel like I had to deal with so much at once I put my daughter first and put us second and now  these issues are happening I feel so alone and hurt ,

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Dear Potter, Thank you for your post and I am so pleased that your daughter was able to get the rehab / therapy and now has strategies in place to keep herself clean. A worrying time for you. You don't say if your husband has had therapy for his sex addiction and I guess not! 

It is not a surprise then that you are feeling hurt, alone and totally lost. Although you may have read Paula's book and discussed the cycles of addiction, etc. I draw your attention to the Blog for Partners which if you have not seen you may find helpful at this time.

The partner’s journey through sex addiction : Self-care (thelaurelcentre.co.uk)

I draw you attention to an extract "..... you didn’t cause the sex addiction, you can’t control the sex addiction and you can’t cure the sex addiction.  Only your addicted partner can stop their sex addiction or porn addiction.  This is not your fault"

I hope you will find support here for you and encouragement from others who have been through similar experiences.

Take care of yourself.

Firefly

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