Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Southerner95

Dating Apps and Porn combination

Recommended Posts

Hello, 

In my teenage years and early twenties I developed a compulsive behaviour whereby I used porn and dating apps simultaneously, using the former as a kind of arousal 'fuel', with the latter providing a slot machine style reward. 

I am now in my mid-twenties and in a healthy relationship, but wanted to share this as it may be helpful for other people who have combined dating apps and porn in compulsive behaviour. 

After watching the Social Dilemma on Netflix recently - it's great - I thought a lot about how dating apps are engineered and the expensive UX testing to ensure users remain on them for as long as possible. These apps are designed for profit, not user welfare. Various apps make it a longwinded process to delete them, and I found myself in a constant cycle of deleting and reinstalling the apps. 

Finally, it's worth mentioning that I would not have used either porn or dating apps as compulsively as I did - often staying up most of the night - in isolation of the other. I never watched porn all night or used dating apps all night on their own. It was the combination of both that seemed the formula of my compulsive behaviour. 

After contacting a popular mental health charity about my behaviour, I was told that porn was not something they had any support in place for, and sent me links to various places including Laurel Centre. While I bare no grudge of this, I think it shows that our more holistic mental health services don't really have dating apps and porn high on their radar. 

As mentioned, I wanted to put this out there in case others had experienced any compulsive behaviour linked to both porn and dating apps. Thanks!

  • Like 3
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I really appreciate hearing this perspective on what, as a partner, seems a baffling course of behaviour.  Whilst being angry beyond all imagination, hurt, betrayed, etc, I have also hung on to a great deal of compassion for my partner, and admiration for his courage in facing this.  Your explanation helps me do this better.  Thank you.  

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...