Lorna ann Posted October 2, 2020 Report Share Posted October 2, 2020 Husband just confused to being a porn addict after 27 years, I have no idea what to do, we have had so much trauma as he was a drug addict, depression just think I can’t do this again, just healed from last broken trust! I am bedbound, our church is no help, I have no family please help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted October 2, 2020 Report Share Posted October 2, 2020 Hi Lorna, Welcome to the Forum and I was very sorry to hear your pain, but so glad you are able to share. There are many other’s at different stages of their journey who I am sure can offer you support. Can I point you towards the main Laurel Centre site for partners at https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/support-for-partners If you have not already seen this the blog series below is very useful, although you are probably already aware of the stages - addiction is addiction whatever the substance. https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/blog/the-partners-journey-through-sex-addiction Take care. Firefly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted October 4, 2020 Report Share Posted October 4, 2020 Hi Lorna, Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to read your post, you must be in a lot of pain. You will find many of us here have very similar stories to tell (unfortunately), and though we are all sorts of different people, we have all been through the struggles involved in our partners addiction. You will find lots of understanding and compassion here, and please don't be afraid to vent as much as you like if it helps. I have, and if you look around the site you will see plenty of others have too. Don't feel lonely or that you can't reach out. It's tough, but you will be okay. There are lots of us here for you. Sending you a hug x 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IamEnough Posted October 5, 2020 Report Share Posted October 5, 2020 Hi Lorna Ann, I’m so sorry to read of your pain. Please do look up the resources on the Laurel site and try and read the books that Paula Hall has written, especially the Partner’s book- I think it will help you understand the situation a little more. Are you able to talk to your husband at all? Is he seeking help for himself? sending love x 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Posted October 7, 2020 Report Share Posted October 7, 2020 Hi Lorna ann, I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing. I’m sorry your having to go through this and feel you have no support. I also only recently found out about my partner of 24 years addiction. I feel for you I really do, I’m sorry you have already had so much trauma to deal with. Please know this forum is a safe space and if you need to vent you can do. I have found great comfort here in my darkest moments. There are lots of us here all at different stages. Please feel free to reach out and know that although you feel very alone there is a supportive group here for you. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunflower Posted October 7, 2020 Report Share Posted October 7, 2020 So sorry to hear your story. It must be very difficult for you. But as said above, this forum is a great support. We all have our own story. Many of us have been with husband/partners for a long time. 21 years for me I had no idea, truly no idea of my husband’s porn addiction and visits to prostitutes. Nothing is taboo on here. We all understand your pain. Take care x 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Hedonia Posted October 8, 2020 Report Share Posted October 8, 2020 Lorna Ann, sadly, there are many many women (and probably men too) who have been where you are. We feel alone because the shame and horror keeps us largely invisible. On this forum, we can be heard by each other, without judgement and with compassion. What has helped me enormously is the realisation that his recovery is not mine. I have my own path to health and stability to tread; it may be parallel to his, but equally, the two paths may diverge. I know this is blindingly obvious, but it took me some months for the penny to really drop and for me to believe this in my heart, as well as in my head. Taking this position means that I can extend him compassion, and even love, but it means I am free from responsibility for his actions, and, equally importantly, he is not responsible for mine. I am free to choose what is meaningful and healthy for me. I hope that in time, you will find peace within yourself and the courage to choose what is safest and healthiest for you. And while you do that, know that you are in good company with the rest of us who are journeying with you. x 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IamEnough Posted October 12, 2020 Report Share Posted October 12, 2020 @Lorna ann Just wondered how you are doing? Have you managed to get any support for yourself? Do let us know xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted October 18, 2020 Report Share Posted October 18, 2020 Hi Lorna Ann. I was just wondering about you too. I hope you have found some way of getting help. It must be so much more difficult for you if you are bedbound. Please do reach out on this site if you need it. It does help sometimes to know you're not the only one in this position xx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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