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Hi- first time here , married 30 years very happily and a wonderful family life. BUT (ain’t there always a ‘but’ ) husband has a long term history of use of escorts. I don’t know how often , I know very few details and don’t want to know, but the last time I found out (message on phone) I felt enough was enough and have pushed him to take steps to address his addiction or I will leave. My question is, how much is it up to me to push him? I have given him links to services, articles etc and told him that I want him to accept his addiction and go into recovery, but weeks have passed and life just goes on. He works extremely hard, we have adult kids at home for the lockdown period so it’s all too easy to slide back into friendship and denial. The last 30 years have shown that we are ridiculously adept at sweeping issues under the carpet and just jogging along. 
he is very emotionally detached and finds it so hard to talk about his feelings and it’s always me who brings it up. I just feel like I’m too tired to keep pushing any more. 

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Hi, Welcome to the Forum. So very sorry to hear your story. I have included the following blog that you may find helpful.

https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/blog/the-partners-journey-through-sex-addiction

You need to look after yourself as a priority and it is not up to you to push.

I spent 25 years not addressing my addition and sweeping issues under the carpet! My relationship with my partner is so so much better having gained help. I so wish I had gained help earlier.

You are not alone. Take care.

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Thank you for sharing your story.    One thing we say to partners on the Partners Workshop is.....You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.    You can support and encourage but your husband needs to do the work and acknowledge he needs help.   What you can control is getting support and help for yourself.  This support can help you communicate what you need from your husband, putting in boundaries as well as consequences if he does not seek help.    The link Firefly has added will give more information and also Paula's book written for Partners is also a good place for information on getting support for you.   Take care Ginny

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