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Full disclosure - learning points

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In hindsight I wish I had been able to disclose the full extent of my SA early on. There were several opportunities to do so but I was racked with guilt and fear, and only focused on what had been discovered. 

It seems to be a common trend but leads to prolonged agony for loved ones.

If I had my time again I would open up as soon as I realised I was a SA, knowing now that I would be able to get the right support.

Has anyone got any further thoughts, advice or learning points?

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As a partner of a SA, who gave me a prolonged drip drip disclosure, even giving me a false disclosure to minimise what he’d done, I’d say that keeping things back is the worst thing you could do. I can see why it happens but it is very damaging. I feel it means that the SA is still acting in a way they’ve always done and they are not really in full recovery. 

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I agree.  I think not disclosing everything is born out of shame and not wanting to face themselves, not wanting to lose the relationship or hurt the partner further and probably still wanting to keep  a part of their behaviour for themselves. It would be good to hear from addicts as to their perspective on this. 

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On 4/27/2020 at 8:46 PM, Sunflower said:

I agree.  I think not disclosing everything is born out of shame and not wanting to face themselves, not wanting to lose the relationship or hurt the partner further and probably still wanting to keep  a part of their behaviour for themselves. It would be good to hear from addicts as to their perspective on this. 

I think this is a very good summary of what is going on and I also would like to hear other addicts perspectives please.

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A year to this week since discovery day and I am still getting more disclosure. 😢. Please if you are an addict, tell me why this happens and will it ever stop 😟

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