sisterhoodofsupport

[stillinlove]

Hi there! 

I have stumbled upon a page which is named sisterhoodofsupport - and i was seriously shocked. the comments are very negative. the pagefounder explains that sexaddicts can‘t change and that therapists are naive.. and that they will act out again and again ..

it made me actually very sad and sick in my stomach as i felt like it seems to be as if i would have to relive all of this awful experiences of discovery again. 

me and my partner decided to fight for all the good things that we have after i took a 4 week break away from him. i had to work through my shock. he started therapy - which is now a little bit more difficult as we are in corona lockdown. 

does anybody know this site? 

i really hope all of you are fine and healthy and in a good place! 

 

Edited March 30, 2020 by stillinlove

[Ginny]

I have not heard of this specific website.   I will ask the other Associates Counsellors at the Laurel Centre if they have.     From what I have just read from the website, it sounds like she did have a very negative experience of therapy.   It is sad that the experiences listed in the website are negative and that the sex addict is unable to change.   I am currently editing to testimonies from partners who say otherwise.  They have written about their own painful journeys of discovery but also how the relationship has healed.   These stories will be published at the end of April, to finish off our partner blog series.    The next blog will actually focus on partners rebuilding their life on their own - as some relationships don't always repair and the right decision is to leave.

Hope you are well too in this Coronavirus lockdown.  

[stillinlove]

Hey there! Thanks for your reply. I am looking forward to both of this blog entrys as I enjoy reading this blog  a lot. 

 

[Ginny]

Glad to hear that you are enjoying the blog series.   The last two parts of the blog series have been delayed a little bit, due to Paula writing a blog relating to the effects of the Coronavirus on partners and the addicted partner.   I will post my blogs after Easter.    I did ask around and not many of the Associates had heard of the Sisterhood of Support website.   Keep safe and well.   Ginny  

[Firefly]

In reading some of the stories on this site it does reinforce the pain and suffering that addiction brings to our partners, families and friends.  I am new on this Forum and a sex addict in recovery, now using all the tools and techniques to make sure I don’t relapse.  I have been married to my partner for over 30 years and we have continued to focus on the positives. No it has not been an easy journey and every day I continue to work on relapse prevention, especially with the extra stress that COVID 19 brings.

[Sunflower]

I have seen this website. It too made me feel sick to the stomach. I started to doubt myself and why I was still with my husband. I often think if people around me knew, they would think I was stupid for staying. I’ll openly admit I have my doubts sometimes. But I know we love each other. I know how much pain we both have. Sometimes I think I’ll never get past that. But I keep trying. But if an addict isn’t willing to be active in their recovery then I think there isn’t much hope. 

[stillinlove]

thank you both so much for your answers! 

i really think there is a big gap between harsh and negative sites like this and beeing somewhat of a person who is blind and naive. 

if there is love and also this feeling comes with so much individuality - but if you feel loved nevertheless and the addicted partner really works on changing things, then why shouldn‘t there be hope and happiness. of course one might be hurt dreadfully again. but hey we came out of that once - on our own and gladfully with the help of real friends - so we will come out  the next time too! if there ever is a next time. because i believe in change! If the addicted partner wants to heal, wants to stop hurting others and themselves - than there is a lot that they can do. as firefly described as well! 

I suffered from severe panicattacks and anxiety for a very long time in my life. the best day in my life was, when i decided that i don‘t want to suffer from this half-life no more. i started therapy, made my homework, learned to take responsibility for myself and it really did so much for me. everything changed. i enjoy myself and my surroundings now even though there is this not so much fun covid 19 situation. 

i think after all, with anxiety and panic there is also not such a big difference to addiction - as i felt i had to learn how to calm the little reptile in my head that really craved for beeing alarmed all the time! 

so yes there is hope!