How to cope with the lying

[Emum]

My partner admitted in November that he has a sex and porn addiction and has been using prostitutes and pornography for many years, has had two long term affairs, the last discovered by me in October, and he has spent 100,000’s of our joint money in lap dancing clubs. 
 

When I discovered the affair in October, he swore convincing that it was a one off thing of relatively short duration only coming clean when a second historic affair was discovered in November. 
 

he’s done the partners residential course and sees a LC therapist weekly. He also has a sponsor and goes to SAA. He has sworn that he has stopped acting out and we’ve had so many discussions about the importance of honesty. I’m still with him but it’s been so so hard. 
 

I discovered yesterday that he’s still acting out (by masturbating to images of the most recent affair partner and prostitutes), lying to his therapist that he hasn’t, lying to his sponsor and collecting his SAA chips and lying to me convincingly and lovingly about the new and better life he’s now leading and how hard it’s been to do the 90 day reset but he’s completed it without a hitch. 
 

I’m floored. The slips would be hard but understandable but the lies make me feel so unsafe. How will I ever be able to trust him, or anyone, ever again? Should I just leave tonight and cut my losses? 

[Ginny]

Dear Emum,  Thank you for sharing your story.   What a tough decision to make.    Do you have any support yourself to talk through the decision to stay or to leave?    Paula has written a few blogs on this specific question.   I have linked them here, so you can have a read.  Hopefully they might help you to decide what your next step could be.   Take care Virginia

https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/blog/my-partner-is-a-sex-addict--should-i-stay-or-should-i-go

https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/blog/sex-addiction--a-guide-for-couples--do-i-stay-or-leave