Sc1 Posted November 10, 2019 Report Share Posted November 10, 2019 First time posting anywhere About this. Really wanted to hear from any other female sex addicts but also others dealing with Trauma re-enactment - what a therapist has told me it is for me. The more reading I do, the more it feels at some point it should stop, once you re-enact the trauma. How much or how bad does the re-enactment have to be before the mind will just stop asking for it? But it doesn’t seem to be working, I keep thinking if I meet men who offer a more dangerous experience it will stop, will stop this desire but it doesn’t, I just keep seeking worse and more. I have tried to stop. Each time honestly thinking I had stopped successfully and am so happy. But a month or so later it creeps back. It’s not me, it goes against everything I believe in and portray in my everyday life but once the thought is there it’s like there is no going back, it’s so strong it takes over, and it’s a constant fight with your mind to tell it to go away. I wish someone could lock me in a room, and hope these desires leave me alone. What confuses me is that I despise this behaviour. I hate it and often I’m even scared but I have to do it or the urge doesn’t leave me alone. It’s like I have to quiet it down, even for a few weeks until it comes back again. All behind my long term partners back who i love and would never want to lose. I have tried to delete accounts permanently, make passwords I do not remember, but in a split second you can just create a new one again. I struggle with my triggers also. Feeling worthless and low is the only one that I have managed to identify. When I’m feel happy it can pop up. Lastly, I have tried engaging in healthy sex with my partner when these urges come, but they are way too often for one, he has even got to point of thinking I use sex to just make myself feel better about things (he does not know about anything) but even if I do, it doesn’t work to stop the urges. If it ever does it is only for a ridiculously small amount of time, I would save around 15mins. The bad urge could be back straight away after. The guilt and shame after each bad encounter I guess is what calms the urge down for a lot longer when I meet these men. Any advise from others would be really appreciated. I have read Paula Halls sex addiction book several times now. It is really helpful in understanding where my behaviour comes from. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaykay Posted January 23, 2020 Report Share Posted January 23, 2020 I'm sorry you didn't get a response on this and I wish I could help but I'm unsure. I'd suggest going to a professional that deals with addiction to help look into this xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunflower Posted May 11, 2020 Report Share Posted May 11, 2020 I too am surprised that you had no response from anyone Sc1. As a partner of a sex addict I tend to read partners concerns. To be honest I’m often too scared to look at this section in case it’s too triggering. I hope that you may have found some help. If not, please do. Your addiction is about something much deeper. As a partner I feel the only way is honesty, as painful as that is for both parties. I wish you lots of luck in finding a new and healthier path. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted May 12, 2020 Report Share Posted May 12, 2020 From memory, I think someone from the Laurel Centre contacted this person directly, rather than posting a reply on the forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted May 12, 2020 Report Share Posted May 12, 2020 Thanks Sunflower for your post. I found a very helpful post by Cat in “Success Stories” which resonates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted January 3, 2021 Report Share Posted January 3, 2021 Hello, I am not sure that this is the right forum for this but I feel the need to write this down. I am in constant need of sexual gratification, often wanting to seek sex outside of my relationship and more extreme scenarios than the norm. Its impacting my desires towards my partner in that i don't feel any passion towards her. Can anyone help? Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted January 4, 2021 Report Share Posted January 4, 2021 Hi Dan, our counselling team can help you. Please fill in the form in this link, and the Practice Manager will get in touch with you. https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/contact-us. In the meantime, there is a lot of advice on how to start your road to recovery in our blog section - https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/categories/addiction-recovery. You can also register to join our short KickStart Workshop. - https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/courses/the-kick-start-workshop which starts on 29th January. All the best Ginny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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