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Confused


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Hi

i found out two weeks ago my husband of 25 years 20 years married was a sex addict.

We have been frank and honest and he has disclosed everything we are having separate counselling on Thursday.

The question I am most confused about is that my husband has blanked me out of his memory. We have been friends since we were teenagers.  When he talks about his past etc. Including the time we were dating it’s like I wasn’t there. I have to keep reminding him I was there at that time etc.

i feel like he has only just opened his eyes and noticed me the last two weeks.  

Is this something anyone else has experienced?

x

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi

This is not uncommon, often people who have an addiction will compartmentalise the addiction and the behaviour and separate this from other areas of life, especially a partner. This is part of the distortion and a way of managing the situation, so it might be that your husband has blanked you as a way of coping. Now that he has had to face his addiction he sounds like he is being present, I hope the counselling is helping both of you, it can be a very painful and shocking time for partners. 

If you haven't already you may want to look for the books that Paula Hall has written for people with the addiction, for partners and her new book for couples all of which can be found on amazon,. 

Take Care

Christine

 

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