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Mattmcf777

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  1. I am ashamed of the fact that I blew all my inheritance on porn and webcams - about 12,000 altogether...like you I really struggle and got myself into debt because of this habit of porn and masturbation, now I am married and it nearly cost me my marriage, my wife has forgiven me numerous times, I am thankful for this but I feel like a real jerk, I feel like It is taking her for granted, I don't mean to, to be honest I don't even think of her when I look at porn I just get sucked in to the fantasy, I say I'm not going to go there but then I seem to end up back in the same place again, full of gilt and shame, I do love my wife but I still feel the compulsion to look at porn, I know that is not loving her and I want to stop but I cannot seem to break out of this pattern of behaviour. To make matters worse I am a Christian and I know better, I feel more guilt and shame because I know this is not pleasing to God and it's not fair on my wife
  2. I am a Christian, I feel I have failed God many times because of a fascination with pornography which I can't seem to shake off, it usually ends in masturbation and loads of shame. At times I have despaired of myself because just when I think I've managed to kick the habit I go back to it again.
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