So I am not 100% sure where to start. But I believe my husband is a sex addict (mainly addicted to pornography and masturbation). For over 13years now, we have had a cycle of discovery, apologies, promises to never act out again/be honest with me, abstaining for a few months (5months max), before falling back into old patters. We have had at least 24 separate discoveries. It’s affected our sexual health, my emotional state and now the family unit. We have 3 children and they are are noticing how unhappy we both are. My husband has used pornography at work, masturbated at family members houses, and self pleasured every day since he was a teenager to block out emotional painful memories.
he believes he might be an addict, but won’t see a therapist or go to any 12 step groups as he believe this is something he can tackle on his own. He thinks pure will power alone is enough to combat this, and genuinely believes that because he has now stopped watching and masturbating, the problem has just gone! He’s got no triggers, doesn’t even think about watching stuff anymore and says he can and has stopped.
Meanwhile, he has left me reeling in a bucket full of betrayal trauma from all the lies and secrets that have been circling us like sharks. Lock down has made this so hard, I did speak to a sexual therapist and she said from what I have said he does sound addicted, and I definitely have betrayal trauma. She suggested some self help books and told me get in touch with her again if I want to set up some more sessions. I will once lock down is over.
I am now now just so confused about whether my husband is even addicted if he can give it up so freely......
Thank you for listening.