Lorna

I’ve come to realise recently that my partner , well ex partner which is what makes this so crazy because it’s nothing to do with me what he does anymore, is a sex addict. We broke up a couple of months ago after nearly 4 years because he said he just didn’t ‘like me like that’ but he’s still living with me and because I wasn’t the one that called it off I feel myself clinging to him. We recently spoke very openly and honestly about his past ‘numbers’ which got to 200 and he stopped counting and if he had started seeing someone as he’s started to be very secretive with his phone. I have never had any desire to look in his phone before he started hiding it. Funny that! He has been talking to a couple of women on my area (he’s not from around here, moved in about 8 months ago with all that’s going on) which he says he’s only been talking to, sex chat on FaceTime and things but I’m convinced he’s seen a lot more of them than that in person. I then broke my own cardinal rule and snooped in his phone. Awful thing to do I know but I just couldn’t get the thoughts out of my head. Reading the things he’s written and messages about picking them up (in MY car) has made me absolutely sick. They are very different to me, about 20 /25 years older (I’m 36) I just don’t understand it. I feel so so alone as the one person in my life I put all of my trust has broken my heart. I can’t talk to anyone, people don’t know we have split up and the situation is such a mess. He told me also that he’s been talking to them for months. I honestly don’t know how I’m ever going to get through this. He goes back to London tomorrow for a few days as he has a childcare bubble and i just know he is going to see one of them before he leaves. I get that he is now officially my ex but I just don’t feel like I can cope.