Since my first post my wife and I have had a number of counselling sessions locally, with a counsellor who has experience with porn addiction and also couples therapy. This has been tremendously helpful to us both. We have been through several exercises separately and together to develop a further understanding of my addiction problem and our relationship and are currently closer than ever. Both of us being completely open was a hugely important step. However, I still need to stay on track and have signed up for a kick start workshop later this week to gain a better understanding of my problems and, hopefully some more guidance for the future. I will post again with an update.
I have used porn on and off for most of my adult life but things got worse a few years ago with internet porn and following an upset with my wife who has been tremendously supportive we both did some reading and I went through the kick start programme at home and stopped. However, now two years on I slipped back for a few weeks and this caused serious issues with our relationship. I think we can make things work but need some ideas on how best to keep on top of this without giving us constant painful reminders. It was really good not to have porn on my mind for the time I was off it. Stress and anxiety seem to be behind things and I don't know why I went for porn this time after so long managing without it. Again, I would welcome suggestions for long term "stay clean" strategies.