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About Gem

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  1. Thank you for sharing. I am in pain. I was told through his family that his therapist tells him who he can and can’t contact and when. He can’t be reached either. He’s in outpatient therapy in the US now for a couple of months. Even though he’s completed inpatient for two and a half months too. Being in the UK and he’s in the US is so far from home.
  2. Thanks. I already read this.
  3. I had been dating my partner for over two years. The first day I met him, I thought he was the “one”. We connected in a way we had both never felt. Under a year into our relationship we were experiencing rocky patches, he was coming home continually after 3am and drinking a lot. I knew my partner was social and could talk for hours to anyone that would listen (he is Irish :-). So I thought nothing of it. I had always felt suspicious, as he always had his phone with him everywhere. On two occasions I found texts, pictures and videos from other women. It wasn’t just one, it was multiple. Graphic pictures, videos and texts that to be honest, I was disgusted reading. From the day I met him, I knew sexually he was experimental, I was only to a “vanilla” extend. The first time I found the texts we were four months into seeing each other so I forgave him as it was early days and he promised he wouldn’t do it again. The second time I found a message (1.5 years in), he decided it was time to move out. He said it would “help” our relationship. It ended up doing the opposite. There was endless silence when trying to contact him via text, email or calling. When he did contact he was either crying or saying how much he loves me and that he’s always so sorry and wants a life with me. He evens few months ago sent me a video of him crying saying that I am the love of his life and he only wants to be with me. He was due to move back in June this year, I went on a holiday with my sister and niece and he had my door keys to move back in. While I was on a holiday he was breaking down, he was saying that he was unsure about how he feels and if he could do this. He then went quiet which stressed me out on holiday! I got back and he was at the airport waiting for me but very mean to me when we got back to my flat. A few days later I sent him a voice note to say that I need to let go, I love him but I can’t go through it. I heard nothing for a month, until he text me on the first day of his rehab in arizona. I was in utter shock and anger. I wasn’t aware of his sex addiction. I do know of his adhd and drinking but we didn’t discuss prior that this was a sex addiction. I responded telling him to get lost and I met someone else. I guess I wanted to hurt him, like he hurt me. I was so angry, the person I loved the most and thought that loved me had this addiction. Yet he couldn’t just tell me, he couldn’t contact me before he went to the US. This is now12 weeks on and I’ve still heard nothing from him. He spent July to sept in the gentle path rehab and then he went to his mums for a week and then back to the US for the outpatients part of the rehab treatment. I have no idea how long he will be in that for. im worried I’ve lost him for Good and rehab would tell him to cut ties and start a clean slate. I left messages when he was in the inpatient rehab, but no contact back. His mum and sad don’t talk to me as they said before that I’m wasting my time due to my age and wanting a family. It’s been so tough as I feel I’ve left him alone. I feel awful for also saying on the first day of his rehab I met someone else. Any advice or anyone else experience this? Did your partner do rehab? How are they after?