My husband acknowledges that he is a sex addict but he denies having had “affairs” . He left me a year or so because I said I knew he was seeing someone on a regular basis and having a sexual relationship with this woman. He couldn’t “possibly stay with someone who accused him of such things”. However he asked to return and said he would work on his addiction but still maintained that this “relationship” did not happen . I sensed he was still seeing this woman and he kept wanting to walk on a certain street and I noticed that he was always staring at women with bun hairstyles . I eventually came across a woman with the hairstyle working on the street that my husband visited frequently. Of course he denied it. He even took a polygraph test - I was surprised by the fact that the person who carried out the test phoned back about an hour later to say that my husband was telling the truth. My husband was delighted but I knew my husband was lying (as clear as day) and indeed was seeing the woman at the time of taking the test.
Through use of social media on my behalf I eventually discovered the woman’s name and although not expecting to find anything an image appeared (twitter profile picture) of this woman with my husbands hand on her shoulder. It was his hand and his arm and his watch. Of course the denials continued. My husband never ever denies that this is a photo of his hand (he couldn’t - it is so clear) but just repeatedly says “I have never met this woman” and “I have had a Polygraph test proving that I am telling the truth”
My husband is 70 years old and has had problems associated with sa since he was 11 years old when he stole money from charity boxes to buy porn mags. Of course the problem has escalated somewhat since then; there has been a steady progression - rapid since the internet has been available - and in his own words “there is nothing I haven’t done” (not that I knew anything about any of this until recently).
His constant lying throughout his life has been extreme. He has lied throughout the support he has engaged with regarding sa. I know he lies at the saa meetings and to his sponsor(from things he tells me). Any progress he makes is subverted, I believe, by him being constitutionally incapable of being honest with himself (aa) as well as others; sadly a lost cause in my opinion.
i am concerned that Polygraph tests are seen to be, mainly, accurate. Lying will do nothing to impact physically, that can be detected , as far as my husband is concerned. In fact I believe the test would produce a greater reaction if he was to tell the truth bearing in mind how hard this is for him to do.