1 pointIt seems that you must put some distance between yourself (and children) and this man for safety's sake and a divorce is clearly a sensible option as the other posters here have said. I agree with Josh that involving the police is a huge step and you need to be sure that there is no other option to get the outcomes you want; especially the safety of your daughter. But I would just add this; few are beyond redemption. Right now you need to feel safe and separation seems pretty much unavoidable, possibly for many years. But if your husband genuinely seeks change, there may come a time (years hence) when he can take some part in the life of you and your children; the man you loved, married and had a child with is still in there somewhere. That said, the well-being of yourself and children must come first and building a life without your husband seems to be your priority now.
1 pointYour husband clearly has a problem (or problems) that have made your life a living hell and you shouldn't have to stand for it. If you want a divorce, don't ask for it. Demand it. Get it done. I won't get into my entire story, but I did a fair amount of catfishing back in the day, but this brings it to another level. He's pimping you out and forcing you to film in. That could be considered a criminal act depending how he coerced you. At the least it's mental cruelty. This is just me, I but after seeing what he's done with your stepson, it's just another step before he's messing with your daughter. He's clearly and unwell man and for the sake of the children, and you, this is not somebody who should be in your life when they are this sick. I do have pity for your husband. He is very ill and needs some serious long-term help and while you can nudge him in the direction, it's on him to get himself well and it's on you to make sure your kids and you are safe. Don't call the cops...it feels like the right thing to do in the moment, but it will embarrass your son and put your husband through a series of situations that you may not fully understand. I would not do this without speaking to your son first, and I'm still not sure it's the right thing to do. Who cares what you tell people? Tell them: "We've grown apart" "He made some decisions I don't agree with" "It's run it's course" "We fell out of love" It doesn't matter what people think about your divorce. It's a lot easier to tell them about your divorce than about the stuff he's been doing. For your sake and the kids' you've got to get moving on this.
1 pointKate 2018 Thank you so much for your support, is so valuable for me, I had relapsed some times this past week, with PMO so I'm restarting on Hard Mode again, I'm on my 5° day again, the urges had been so hard and difficult to control, but I feel so well because I'm going again, it is hard but it is achievable, so I will go again... I do a lot of things to control the urges, also I lost my wife for my addiction so I'm alonte on this with this, I have some friends that are supporting me, but anyway this is a problem I have to win alone, nobody excepts me can do nothing, so I will win my 90 days on sobriety this time. I really appreciate your help! You are a great person, please never leave alone to your husband, give him your support as you are doing, this is the worse addiction I had fought with, recovery is not easy, but is achievable, so you husband is very, very lucky having you there, what you do is a great action of love and compassion. If any time you want to ask me something or just talk about this, please feel free to contact me, would be a pleasure to talk and share whatever you want to know in order to support your husband... So let's keep going with this!