Oh Ruby, dear! Your situation sounds so very painful and i am so sorry to hear you have been hit with such horrendous discovery. Although my husband has been acting out with women I know that at least on two occasions there was another man present as well. He says it was only to observe his performance.... (I feel sick!) It is impossible for my brain to digest it and I have stopped trying to do that. All I need to know is that he has a problem, that he acknowledges he has a problem and that he is actively working on recovery.
One thing I can not recommend strongly enough is to be careful what questions you are asking because once you know that information, you are suck with it and it can be much more damaging than useful. I now truly regret knowing some things. And I understand that in the beginning you are just hurting so much that you think nothing else will hurt me more, i just need to know... Therapeutic disclosure might be the least damaging way for you to have answers to your questions.
As for 'not looking backwards' bit, it makes me so angry!! My husband often says that, 'why cant we just move forward?, why cant you stop looking back?'. And I feel like screaming 'Why couldn't you stop for all those years? Why coudn't you!!!'
You are not alone Rudy, sadly there are many beautiful, successful, once joyful and happy women whose lifes has been torn apart by sex addiction. Take care of yourself, do what is right for you, take one day at the time. It's a long journey to recovery but there is a recovery. Love and hugs.