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The group was very helpful, I somehow got the courage to tell the group what had been happening, I felt choked with tears and the other people there actually cried for me. I was overwhelmed that these lovely, kind people had so much compassion and empathy for me, that they understood exactly how I felt as they have walked this path before me. I spoke about how humiliated I am, how much shame I carry about what he does, others in the group told how they had felt the same and how they have grow in strength and understanding for themselves, the group is not focused on the sex addict but on the need for self compassion for the partner of the addict. It has been a revelation becoming a part of that group, a lifeline for me. I have a long way to go but I don't feel so alone any more.

Hi Irene, I just read your post and wanted to say that you sound like a very strong woman. I don't know if it will help you, but Relate offer excellent couple counselling and have sex therapists who deal with the feelings SA brings from both sides. It must be a very confusing time for you and it's heartbreaking to hear that this feeling is 'familiar' due to past trauma. I understand your comment because I spent a long time accepting appalling treatment because that familiar feeling somehow felt safe (even though it was the absolute opposite). Please remember that you are not alone. You are dealing with mind blowing, life changing issues and have a right to be heard and have your feelings understood and respected. Sending love M