Porn

7 posts in this topic

Posted

Hi. 

I have just read about porn and sex addiction and think I need some help in dealing with mine.

I am now 50 and have been using porn for the obvious since the age of about 14. Over the year's this has increased to a two or three time a day every day habit. Spending so long on line.trying to satisfy my urge. I have spent a lot of money in the past calling sex lines on  cam sites which are very expensive  and can be so addictive. I am pleased to say that  I managed to stop this with out help before I got married

 

I  have been married  for 5 years and love my wife,   but I would choose to spend hours on line looking at porn and  pleasure my self rather than make love to my wife. This makes me feel so bad. My wife always enjoys sex and it is great most of the time but due to my habit has caused my erection to be unreliable at times.  this is why i must do somethng about it before i loose her. She doesn't know about my habit but I fear that she will catch me in an embarrassing position one day. 

I now think it is time for me to quit this all absorbing habit that gives brief satisfaction but such a lot of guilt, before I loose my wife.

This has been quite an  embarrassing  thing for me to write  and face up to, and admit.

Any advice please

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Posted

You have made the first step & identified te problem. You now need to follow this through and get the professional help and I think your wife should know too. But I'm  not an expert, I've only just recently found out myself that my husband is addicted to porn. Finding out the hard way has been really shitty but we are working on it with the help of professionals & so I'm hanging on in there for now. 

Start sorting this problem now!! Don't wait and follow what the specialist sex addiction professional advices (get a blocker on your internet & get rid of all your folders, browsers, memory sticks etc etc) throw it all away & start your recovery, it will be a life style change you need to make forever. 

Good luck

 

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Posted

Hi thanks you so much for taking the time and trouble to reply.

I can't face up to telling my wife about this at the moment, but maybe in time.

I have worked very hard at keeping myself busy at the times I would normally resort to viewing porn, so far so good. And on  day one destroyed all I had. No files or any thing left at all. I have not found this at all easy but taking the first steps has made me feel better about myself. 

Thank you once again and good luck to your self.

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Posted

Hi Ian,

Firstly well done for making that first step of recognising the problem and now beginning the path of recovery.

From my own similar life long issues, I would encourage you to persevere and not be too hard on yourself. Our brains seem to have been messed with  

along the way (I was abused aged 13...) and breaking free is a process.

Take care!

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Posted

Hey Ian.

You're one of a very large and growing universe of people who suffer with this issue and have been chewed-up by it. You;re not alone and you're far from unusual. Congrats on facing up to the challenge, because porn is fucking your life up, for sure.

Please be very careful about disclosing to your wife at this stage. That could be a bloody awful piece of advice by me, and feel free to ignore it. But it could be like dropping a match in a box of fireworks - very difficult to predict how things will progress but sure to be dangerous and frightening all round. It is absolutely sensible advice to ACT NOW and to deploy those "first level" defences, like a web blocker (I use K9) and like destroying your collection and contact list. Maybe consider a "reboot" as described on the excellent yourbrainonporn website. And perhaps get your behaviours "clean" and under control.... and maybe then think about disclosure.

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Posted

I've had a problem with porn for years. I'm in my 50s and it's not getting any better. I'm worried where it's all going. Does anyone know if I can get some therapy or hypnosis to get me off this stuff. I've deleted my collection many times but it's like a drug that won't leave me alone.

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Posted

I got therapy by going to a different GP than my usual one. My first GP just said "try and stop, there are no services out there." That turned out to be bollocks. I went to a different GP and he forwarded me to psychotherapy. I was on a waitlist for 7 months but the sessions I eventually had started to help. I wish that I'd got help earlier and that I'd started to make the progress earlier. Try SLAA if you want but they'll just shove religion down your throat and disregard any scientific info.

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