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Paddington

YOU CAN'T BE A HALF-HEARTED! IT'S GOING TO TAKE WILLPOWER

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Found this discussion on masturbation just now and I feel more motivated to be a fapstronaut.
Not everyone has what it takes and they did cover NoFap and the effects of Porn consumption but it takes commitment to overcome an addiction

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhkqnmLRTIw&t=5s

I liked how they were lighthearted towards it all I found I was too serious but now that i'm not I feel better!

I believe I can do it and you should too. It is pretty funny but it made me really think about where the world is heading for us as men if we are unable to overcome our addictions

You can do it too :)

Hope this helps!!

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I cant do nofap if i go more than like 4 days without ejaculating my sex drive is just too high and the chance of relapsing to p is significantly increased  

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Hello,

Welcome here. I didn't watch the video but the topic of masturbation is an interesting one.

Often guys on reboot forums will encourage a period of abstinence after you've decided to be free of porn. In my experience, this can help decouple the body's natural physical urges from the purely mental/emotional and dopamine based urges. For me, these two became totally cross wired when I was a porn user and it is near impossible to tell them apart without a lot of improvement of your self-awareness. That is why guys like Bean will say they have a massive high sex drive - actually what is going on is they have a massive high urge to use porn which is something very different. I used porn long enough that I honestly had no idea what my real sex drive was and it took me a lot of clean time to work that out. It gets very very confused. 

So I definitely don't want to discourage you because I think there are many valuable lessons to be learned about yourself from this.

However one thing I disagree with is the notion of needing massive willpower. This is a a big fallacy in my experience and does not work for several important reasons. This approach of The Willpower Method is what nearly everyone tries when they first encounter this problem. I did, most do. The basic approach goes something like this: if I can hold out long enough then the desire to use porn will go away. But you are fighting with an addiction here. It is rather like saying, if I can hold my breath long enough then the desire to breathe will go away. No it doesn't, you would just pass out even if you could. And the same thing happens if you use this method with porn. It creates a sense of deprivation and because of that is doomed to failure. If you believe you are still getting something - anything at all - out of the porn, then why deny yourself? So The Willpower Method itself is like saying, "I will deny myself this (precious) thing porn I crave and if I am strong enough, then I will be cured." But how do you know your willpower holds? Only when it doesn't. So you're going to be strong willed for what? A week? A month? A year? Keeping on denying yourself the porn you still remember as being so much fun or giving you some benefit... ? What do you think non-porn users do (people who have never had our problem)? They sit there all day thinking "I must not look at porn today... I must have more willpower"??? No. They get on with their lives, and you will too.

This is why I think The Willpower Method does not work - it reinforces the sense of denial and deprivation strongly, because part of you still feels entitled. The mental brainwashing is still firmly in place. Or worse, I would go around moping and being irritable or miserable because I "can't" use porn (says who?), which usually leads to more stress, confrontation and back to porn again. It is the pathway to failure. I speak from experience.

InsteadI would encourage you to explore your addiction more. By any and all means necessary.  Really look hard and detailed at what you do when you use porn and why. This may take you weeks or months but this is really where you are best off investigating your willpower. I would not even necessarily tell you to stop using before then but it is good if you can. The main thing here is look at every single possible "positive" thing you think you get from porn and then destroy that reason, research it, learn, find alternatives - whatever you need to reverse all that brainwashing. Read more books, websites, do  therapy etc. Only when you have destroyed and annihilated every reason to use porn will the desire be gone. Then you can accept it is doing absolutely nothing whatsoever for you, and instead celebrate and rejoice every single beautiful day of your life where you are no longer punishing yourself with this self-inflicted slavery to porn and masturbation.

Peace

 

 

 

 

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