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outofwishes

Is anyone on, or been on the Sex Offenders' Register? OT?

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Sorry if this is off topic, but I can't find anywhere else to discuss this.

I'm trying to get a picture of my life after conviction. I know I will lose my job so I have put in my resignation to make that smoother, but I'm trying to nail down what I might do. I understand a lot about the register and I know I have to tell the police where I am if I'm going away for a few days, but what do they do with that information? I'm worried that, if I stay with friends, the police could turn up at that address to check on me. Has anyone any knowledge about that - or can anyone point me to where I might ask? 

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I'm American, so I can't say 100% what it looks like assuming you're in the UK, but a lot of it has to do with what you have NOW, meaning cars, houses, etc. I've found in most cases, horror stories of insurance, loans, etc. have been overblown. That said, there are a lot of restrictions where a registered sex offender can live and it varies from town-to-town in the US. I wouldn't want to try to find an apartment now. Thankfully, since I've had my house almost 15 years, I'm grandfathered in on most. Ironically, since I've pulled my life together, my credit score has actually greatly improved since my conviction.

I am on probation for three years, with about a year left. At first, I had to report to the officer every other week and there were periodic checks of my house. I also had to take two lie detector tests in the first year. Once it was established that I'm low-risk for reoffending, it's been much easier. I check-in once a month and usually he just looks at me and says "Everything good? Any questions?" and then I move on with my day. We built trust and I've shown that I've learned my lesson. So, your relationship with law enforcement will be the tightest immediately after your conviction, but it does get better.

I was fired the day I was arrested...and because of my visibility in my community...I was all over the media. I will most likely never work for someone again in a white-collar environment. So I started freelance writing on my own, wrote my book and actually now make more money doing less work than I did before the conviction.

And yes, I'm on the register in America for life. But that just involves checking in with the police where I live every 3 months. Sure, it's a pain sometimes, but I look at it as a good reminder to stay in recovery and a small penance considering I created victims.

My best advice to you is use this time now to get your stuff together. Find out why you did what you did -- it's a long process, or at least it was for me -- and it involved a formula of reasons I couldn't have guessed when it first happened. You should have nothing to worry about with the police checking on you if you have nothing to hide. Live a life of honesty with your family and friends. I saw on your blog that your friends were great...people usually are. Some aren't, but that's their problem, not yours.

Your life will be forever different, there is no denying that, but despite the hoops you'll be made to jump through both in the short- and long-term, you may find that a couple of years from now, this was just the thing you needed to turn around.  Consider checking out my blog at www.RecoveringPornAddict.com for more about my story.

Edited by Joshua Shea
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Thanks Christine and Joshua - both very helpful. I'm trying to find out, if I go stay with friends and give the police that info, might they then turn up at the address I give? 

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Prior to your conviction, they just want to know where you are. They probably won't show up for searches or anything like that. After your conviction, they'll be more likely to check in with you...you can almost guarantee it. But in my experience, it's not invasive. It's just making sure that you are saying where you'll be and making sure there aren't any obvious problems with that place.

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