Joshua Shea Posted February 17, 2018 Report Share Posted February 17, 2018 First, I want to say after taking a look at many of the posts on this forum, I feel like I'm in the right place. I just wish I knew this site existed long ago when I was just starting in recovery.That's part of why I write. I have discovered something over the last 2-3 months and wanted to share it with those who are much earlier or just starting in recovery and maybe it can help a few people out.So, I absolutely understand that shame is a huge part of the issue. I know that I felt it. But my situation was a little different in that I was very well known in my community when my problem came out. I made the horrible mistake of talking to a teenager in a chat room and was busted by the police. Because I was a prominent business person, leader in the arts community and a local politician, the news of my arrest was the lead story on TV news for several days. I went into hiding for a long time. During that time, I got the help I needed with both my porn addiction and alcoholism and continue to have one-on-one and group therapy to this day.So, about six months ago, I launched a website, RecoveringPornAddict. It was mostly just going to be a promotional site when my book came out, but it started being discovered by addicts and those who loved addicts. Then right after my book (The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About) came out in January, I started being approached by podcasts and other for interviews. The book is doing OK and you can find it at the typical sites, but more importantly, I've felt this renewed energy in recovery.It's really simple. I just tell my basic story to somebody new almost every day. Maybe it's someone who wrote to me on my website because they bought the book or heard me on a podcast, or maybe it's on a forum like this. My therapist and group members are great -- but we're deep, deep into my story there. I'm just talking about the basics. By telling roughly the same story so often I feel like I've had a major breakthrough I didn't know was possible. Seeing, reading or hearing people's reactions is so magnificent. Yes, there are the people close to you who either love you a lot, or have judged you a lot, but this is different. This is somebody you connect with briefly and then you're done. You've shared knowledge and in many cases, hope.There is still shame -- I did something horrible, but I'm now realizing how I can help. My website will never get 1,000 viewers in a day and I'll never have anything close to a best seller with the topic of how I sunk into porn addiction, but these two things have allowed me to make so many connections that I feel stronger than ever about fighting this. I wonder if I had known this in my second week, or second month of recovery if it would have helped. I guess it's not always about digging super deep to find that hidden trauma. Sometimes what you can offer on the surface is enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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