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Mel

When my husband doesn't want to give us a chance

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If you had told me a number of years ago when I met my husband that my single life behaviours would rear their ugly head and destroy me and my family I'd have told you I was stronger than that, I've only just got married after years of being faithful and finding a happiness that hasn't revolved around the bedroom and sexual gratification, don't get me wrong sometimes I felt as though we could be more intimate but my husband has weight issues which honestly I learned to find less unattractive over time but his constant need to cover up and use his weight as a barrier between us was more unattractive and frustration. I never told him this I kept nagging to lose weight I guess I thought by trying to get him to face the addiction to food he would help himself. So we got married a couple of months ago and suddenly my on and off depression started to plummet rapidly and my friends appeared to totally abandon me, with my health at an all time low I was totally isolated and decided that I'd go online to old familiar chat rooms and talk when I went to join an old I'd still existed one I'd used when I thought my partner was cheating yes I know this viscous trust cycle , in one day I'd managed to get myself in that familiar place of meeting a guy and sleeping with him, overwhelming guilt, disgust, shame you name it those familiar feelings returned. Obviously I always said in the past I was in control but reality I never was. Long and short my husband found out doesn't trust me, he's told me our marriage is over and he's not wanting to or can't even think about counselling. I took an overdose it started as a few extra pills to take away my pain and try sleep but I didn't stop popping the pills until the packets were empty. I'm now in the waiting game for support and suddenly my head is in overdrive the reality is hitting me and suddenly now when it's too late I want to talk but he doesn't want to listen, I'm broken I can't imagine my life without him I meant my vows I want to spend my life with him and grow old with him, how do people move on, how long is long enough time to give someone some space this is all very fresh and new and I'm terrified, terrified he will never forgive me 

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Can I also mention I've never cheated before in a relationship but when I was single I was regularly putting myself st risk meeting men 

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