HI Serial porn addict and cheater

9 posts in this topic

Posted

hi new here  and im addicted to porn and swinger sites one in particular that i keep going back to time and time again  i have meet a few people from these sites to enjoy times with and have been found out several times but i keep trying to stay away but i fail and relaspe everytime  and i am a heavy porn addict 

now we  are  expecting our  first child and i need to change and sort my self out ready for my child as my wife knows ive cheated and wants me to take the steps to sort my self out in both areas so i am looking to go to support meetings  and do councilling  if i can afford it 

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Posted

My GP forwarded me to psychotherapy for porn addiction which was very helpful. I'd say that was a first step. It sounds like your partner wants you to get help, so I'd recommend starting there. If the first GP doesn't help, try another at the same surgery. I'd say be wary of SLAA and other support groups as they will probably force feed you Christian stuff, guilt trip you and will ignore science.

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Posted

Hi Dave 42

 

you can donwnload the self help tool kit http://www.sexaddictionhelp.co.uk/index.php/component/content/category/19-kick-start-recovery

and there are a couple of books too which will relate to this. Look up SAA, or SA, or SLAA and see which groups exist in your area. but there are also on line groups too. Group work is wonderful to supporting recovery , especially for accountability , honesty and sharing.

BW
Ian Paula Hall Associate

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Posted

Hi Dave..

Trying to be free from porn addiction on your own is not almost possible. First of all, make up your mind that you want to STOP pornography viewing... no matter how many times you fail, dust yourself up and GET UP! You should find someone you can be accountable to... Not your wife... someone you really respect. Your baby really needs you clean and sane...look around you for meetings and counseling. You can also read up on how porn addiction effects your life and causes,effects and remedies to porn addiction.

I hope this helps

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Posted

 

My GP forwarded me to psychotherapy for porn addiction which was very helpful. I'd say that was a first step. It sounds like your partner wants you to get help, so I'd recommend starting there. If the first GP doesn't help, try another at the same surgery. I'd say be wary of SLAA and other support groups as they will probably force feed you Christian stuff, guilt trip you and will ignore science.

PatBatemanBlg, did you get psychotherapy through the NHS? How long did you have to wait?

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Posted

Hi.

My GP suggested I completed a self referral to a resource offered by my local NHS trust. They have a "website" for people living in the area. I filled in a self referral form and this was swiftly followed up with a telephone consultation. Based on my answers a referral to a psychiatrist and an appointment followed about a month later. I meet with them fairly regularly at my GP surgery, at a time I can hide fairly easily. The appointments offer "talking space" and that is pretty much all that has happened - it's given me someone to talk to in absolute confidence. I sometimes feel it is an abuse of NHS resources but I have a problem and need help.

No one knows about it, save for my GP, who hasn't asked me about it since I made the original approach.

I should say that I've not 'fessed up my addiction to pornography, but have spoken about other issues which are tied. I still haven't decided whether I should say.

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Posted

SUBJ1

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Posted

What does that mean ? 

Ive also found myself going back to tge same site, initially to chat and just meet "likeminded individuals" but reality being I just kept putting myself in potentially dangerous situations that at the time are a quick fix but leave me feeling ashamed and disgusted with myself afterwards, I met my husband and finally put it to bed(pardon the pun) or so I thought, just got married and depression hitting me like a steam train physically my health taking its toll as well and I found myself back online, one man one meet one day, usualfeelings afterwards added to the most unbelievable and overwhelming sense of guilt, didn't stop he staying in and chatting but had set my mind I would not, could not meet with anyone again. Then my husband found stuff on computer and my very short marriage is over. I'm totally broken I know I have deep rooted issues, I've joked I'm addicted to sex when I was single but this actual realisation that I am addicted and it's so wrong has come as a huge shock to me, I took an overdose and now being referred to various different professionals, I'm terrified for my children and what they may or may not be aware of 

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Posted

Hi Mel

It sounds like you are in quite a crisis.  However the first step to getting over this is firstly to realise that you are addicted and the second step is hitting rock bottom - this sounds like it might be your rock bottom.  The rock bottom is where you come to the point you will do anything to get free from this addiction.  And that is what it needs.  To get over this addiction you have to be totally, totally, honest with yourself and getting free from you addiction has to be more important than anything else in your life.  More important than your marriage even - the logic being, if you don't, you won't have a marriage either.

The question is what do you do now?  It is good that you are getting referred to different professionals - I wonder if that is about your overdose rather than your addiction?  There are various places you can get help.

1. Twelve step programmes, like Sex Addicts Anonymous (http://saauk.info/en/) or Sexaholics Anonymous (https://www.sa.org) or Sex and Love Addicts anonymous (http://www.slaauk.org).  I go to SAA and it works for me.  The one note of wisdom though, groups vary, so if one doesn't work try another.  On their websites, you can see which groups are mixed or single sex.

2. Get some personal support from a friend or relative.  I know that can be scary, but my experience is that friends really come through.

3. Read up about Sex Addiction - Paula Hall's book is excellent.  "Understanding and treating sex addiction".

4. Personally what turned my life around was Paula's intensive recovery course - information on her website.

There is hope - things are bad at the moment, but you can recover from this - many have and do.  I am one.

Best wishes.

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