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Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

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Posted

Hi all, just came across this site and thought I would post . 

Gay guy here, not that it really matters because addiction does not discriminate , all it does is create a trail of  chaos , trauma and dispair. Although my partners addiction is not new, his thing is sex chat lines.  I try to be compassionate, but find it hard to be all hearts and rainbows as he certainly shows none of that me.

The rage, and  anger I feel is sometimes scary , which has often reached boiling point we we are physically attacking each other , but the loneliness and isolation is unbareable . I try to explore ways to get out , but I can never manage to find the courage , plus financially this is not an option and ultimately we share a strong bond , and love each other uncondionally . 

I have always excepted it , and tried to be patient , and enabled him to use the phone for sex , accepting he needs to do this , then this leaves me feeling guilty and I ask myself have I made this worse. But the debts are just silly, 2 phone contracts in my name, both now with debt collectors to the sum of about £3000, plus several BT accounts that have been disconnection , credit cards bills, I could go on and on . However even the debts racking up don't seem bother him . With a combined debt management plan of £26,000 ( not all addiction ) Just this week alone, he has topped up the pay as you to the sum of £80, plus £140 on premium numbers . The usuall response is if we had sex more he would not need to do it , so guess it's all my fault .  ( I have a very low sex drive)

I have been looking for any support groups , or 1-1 help , for myself , but unless one is in a great financial position to pay for private therapy , there is no light , just further darkness. 

 

 

 

 

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Posted

I am new on here and already I'm doing what I always do. Trying to help. I may get in trouble for saying this but it really is NEVER OK for there to be violence. You maybe able to contact a refuge depending where you are to help you escape. I lived with dv for 20 years and just when I thought my life was going so well with a wedding planned in August The bombshell dropped. I don't have much money but my mental health ATM is paramount to enable me to cope. If you can pay his phone bills please find the money to get help. It could be a long time saving in the end . Good luck x

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