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Porn addiction - Help

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Posted

Hi

I would like some help and advise. I am addicted to porn and im ashamed of it. I have tried many times to stop but failed misrably. It started when I was 12 with magazines now its developed into a full blown websites. I sneakly look at it, i look for ways to look at it, even when im with my familiy. Im 34 now and i know i need to stop but I keep relapsing. Ive tried finding religion, hobbies but i see something then I need to look at it.

My marrige is on the verge of falling apart because of this. I am very happy with her but i cant stop this addiction. I feel remorse when i get caught, promise i'll stop then a few weeks later im back at it. i look in the mirror i dont like what i see. I wish there was a way i can just stop.

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Posted

Hi,  I don't know if you saw the post after yours from Craig, but he's in the same situation as you - only it may be too late for his marriage.  If you want to beat this addiction then you've got to put blockers on all your IT devices and get help.  If you've tried to stop before, but have failed, even though you know you have so much to lose, then this is almost certainly an addiction now.  That's the definition of an addiction - repeated failure to stop in spite of harmful consequences.  Do look at my self help resource - www.pornaddictionhelp.co.uk - and do get in touch with us if you want to join one of our recovery groups or meet with a counsellor.  Whatever you do, do it today and get some help.  People do overcome this and you can be one of them.

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If it's important enough for you to kick the addiction, please install those blockers that Paula suggests on all your Tech. Don't find the ways around them. Please do review the self help info. If you're the kind of person who needs to understand in order to change, there are loads of books, websites and apps that can help you. Paula's book is great. "Your Brain on Porn" is another that worked for me. But there's a huge body of work available. There are support groups all over the country that can provide some fellowship, help you to understand, and stop you feeling like an outsider. There are brilliant counsellors, like Paula, that you can trust to help you through the shit, if you can afford them. There are also 12-step groups, if you're at all spiritual, which offer a low cost alternative to group therapy. When I think about my own fight, and my successes and failures over the years, the successes came when I prioritised being clean above anything else. The failures came when I was complacent, arrogant or lazy. You've really, really got to want this for it to work, mate. Good luck.

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