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Fiona

How do I know he's not just faking recovery

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Hello, so my husband is about to start this whole process, we have been to two therapists before and no luck, not ones however that specialise in this area though.... We have only just got here, it's been eight years of hell and we have two children. How do I know he isn't just going along with it to keep the family together?? "Yes dear, I'll do anything" till we all believe he's ok and he starts again! Or is this something I have to accept might be happening for the rest of our marriage?! 

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Hi Fiona,

8 years is a long time to wait, always wondering if this time will the time he finally gets sorted.  Unfortunately we see lots of people who have wasted years of therapy and huge amounts of money with therapists who aren't trained in this field.  And one of the mistakes untrained therapists make is not being able to ensure that the person with the addiction is fully motivated to change.  To change for themselves, because it's what they 'want' - not just to keep their family together.  Obviously we understand that family is a key motivator, but it does need to be more than that.  Until someone really wants to change because they firmly believe there is a better life without addiction, then relapses are almost inevitable.  If you haven't already done so, please do get in touch.  We can provide support for you as well as ensuring your husband is fully getting into recovery this time.  Warmest wishes. Paula

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