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  1. Hi Everyone, I have been married 30 years and only discovered my husband's porn addiction last year. I knew he most likely used some type of porn now and then and accepted this but nothing really prepared me for what was to come. I found his large stash of magazines, 110 in total which he denied even using any more. I stupidly believed him when he told me they were now gone, until a couple of months later when they were all still in his ' man cave '. I should also tell you about his other porn addictions starting with the long standing satin fetish. One day many many years ago he presented me with a satin blouse and lingerie which he wanted me to wear. He would ask now and then and gradually his collection of blouses and skirts became bigger and bigger. He has the satin clothes custom made and has an extensive collection, all of which I do not enjoy wearing because I feel frumpy and unattractive and quite frankly sick of the sight of them. He will not have sex unless I am wearing them and often wants me wearing a blonde wig and glasses too. My heart sinks when i see the items laid out on the bed and I am very bored with this routine. He has never been bothered about what I might like to do in bed which is really quite basic. Being spontaneous without wearing the clothes! His behaviour has also changed when having sex. It's pretty obvious he is thinking about someone else which makes me feel hurt and angry and just used. About 14 years ago I stupidly suggested him wearing the clothes too. Maybe I had guessed he would enjoy this but I wish I had not gone there. Now he has this extensive collection along with dozens of wigs, lingerie, corsets, breast forms, high heels and even a latex mask of a female face. He is addicted to both me wearing the satin as much as with himself. There is no issues with him wanting to change sex or any sort of identity issue. He is simply addicted to the satin and enjoys the feeling. Along with this is also his growing habit of writing erotica which consists of his satin addiction with various women . Some are porn stars he likes and even real people he has known/ knows through his job. Essentially the stories are the same each time and follow a very predictable path but he is doing this more and more. These stories are very explicit and at times vulgar. He also looks at porn online, mainly still explicit images and is also buying more magazines. He will happily lie to my face that he isn't addicted and to then I start questioning my own sanity, until the private browser is on once again. He has any bought items to do with porn sent to his work address, has a secret ebay account just for porn, a secret paypal and email accounts. I am now making myself ill with how this is all making me feel. I feel unattractive, my confidence is in my boots and most days I am in tears at some point because I cannot see any end to this, especially since he simply denies having any problem. I have mentioned sex therapy but he just shuts the discussion down and instead seems to find new ways to deceive me. Up until a year ago I was happily married and now miserable , even picturing a life where I leave him. This situation is truly exhausting and I don't know how much longer I can take it. Sorry for the long winded summary and thanks for reading. x
  2. Hi I am a recovering sex addict a very very long way to go for me but I am on track. Will anyone be interested to know/work with me to recover on the sexual addictive behavior. Thanks (You help me more than I help you by me sharing the message that I have freely received)
  3. Hi everyone, I really need some help to change myself and try to get rid of some of my addictive sexual compulsive behaviours and am seeking any advice people can offer. I have only fully realised this problem too late and it has destroyed my first relationship with an amazing women who I think I have hurt deeply and who i really love. I am 25 and have struggled with an addiction to internet pornography since i was 14/15 which later progressed to visits to massage parlours and prostitutes for the past 1 1/2 years. I had been in this relationship since I was 19 and met her at university, lived together for 2 1/2 years and I think we genuinely loved each other despite some problems and a lack of emotional honesty and honesty now on my part. This was both of our first relationship and I got tempted by wanting to explore sex with other people but did not have the confidence or strength to admit this to her at the time and wandered down this path of sex behind her back. I confessed to her a couple of days ago and there is so much pain and hurt caused that I feel so sick and disgusted with myself for having subjected her to this and I just want my actions to not hurt her and for her to be OK and the happy and amazing person that she is without having ever been exposed to my ugliness and badness and problems. I have made an effort to stop both the pornography and sex workers and made progress but always relapsed. I am seeing a counsellor about depression and anxiety issues which I have had for most of my life and we are beginning to explore this, but I'd really like to know if there's any help or groups or anything I can talk to about this problem based in the London or Surrey area. I have been really selfish and this is not the person I want to be, I really want to try to make sure that this does not happen again and that I can never hurt anyone again and hopefully try to fix what damage I have done to my ex-girlfriend. I am quite desperate and confused about myself and appreciate any kind of help or advice anyone can give. Thank you
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