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  1. I am a father and a husband, and I've been using pornography for the vast majority of my adult life. For the last five years or so I've woken up to what a horrible industry it can be and felt overwhelming guilt for the way I essentially used these people and added to the problem. I can't seem to stop though: if I'm alone my first thought is always of pornography. I hate myself so much after, I need to stop.
  2. Hi everyone, I have just discovered this website and I have decided to join. I don't know how to describe my addiction and I am not even sure if it comes into the sex porn and porn addiction category. It does, however, result in the same kind of frustration and misery and fear of losing life long friends. I hope I have done the right thing by joining this group.
  3. Hi,
    After marriage I noticed that my stomach turns upside down whenever I feel empathy during or about sex. I turned to porn soon (watching porn does not require empathy) and been a porn addict for following 20 years until my wife just left me 5 month ago. Since then I have stopped watching and jerking off on porn, slowed down on alcohol (0.5-1.5 pints a day) and things are getting better. I have started to go to gym. Business is doing well.
    Yeah, I became a 'silent' alcoholic few years ago too, drinking 10-20 units in various alcohols 'to relax' every night while being able to work during the day at the same time.
    But the sex and empathy thing has not changed. When I mentioned these two words in one sentence to her last time when I dropped kids off after a weekend, she halted me. She could not listen to that either. She might have co-dependency on this.
    I can feel both empathy and sympathy and this problem of sex and empathy has lured over me like a scary void during our whole relationship. It grew into constant anger, denial of my and her feelings. Only recently when I started to have more time to spend alone, I started to pay attention to it and try and analyse it.
    I avoid and resent empathy in sex at all cost. I feel like an un-trusty oyster requiring a putty knife to pry open it. 
    I understand a sexual dominance could be a role play but being stuck with it as I am, seems a bit odd. Although as child I was hammering toys which did not 'work as I want' against floor and was being terrified left alone even for few hours. The feeling of void about empathy in sex feels connected to fear of being left alone. But it does not make sense. When I was contemplating on the anger separately I had a vision of me tucked in a winter coat on a crisp sunny winter day out secure, calm and happy at age when I still remember adults being as giants tall as 5 story buildings with their knees at the level of your eyes. Also does not make sense.
    Sorry to throw this on you but where do I start? It is all like a shuttered glass in my head. She hasn't found anyone else yet. I do love her when she does not require compassion.
  4. Hello
     
    Im glad to find this place. I've read a few posts, watched a few videos and just deleted all of my porn.
    Ive been through this routine many times now, and failed many times. Im in my mid forties and my porn addiction has been around for some 30 years. It has definitely intensified in the last 4 years or so, and I keep telling myself I really need help. I need to stop, but seem to fail so easily.
    So, Ive decided I need to reach out to someone. Clearly, doing this alone will not work for me; I'm finally accepting that now.
    Ideally, I'd like to attend the therapy sessions in London, but I simply cannot afford it, being on a low income. Although I'm not so far away in Brighton, I couldn't even manage the return train fare to get to the sessions to begin with.
    Is anyone out there aware of anything similar thats available in the Brighton area? Any advice is appreciated.
    Thanks
  5. Hi,
    I have come to the conclusion at the age of 46, I am a bit compulsive; not just about Porn but other stuff too. There's defiantly a bit of OCD going on !
    Anyway, relating to Porn, I watch it for an hr or so in the evenings or on a lazy Sat morning. Ive never been in a chat room, nor do i download/pay for images,but what worries me are things; Firstly, on some sites including Twitter, there is a bit of underage sex going on. I want to make this clear that I have no interest in this, but, sometimes, it does come up and this makes me even more guilty than ever. Point 2, (call me paranoid) but since Nov 2016 the UK Govt. brought out the 'Snoopers Charter' which basically gives the Police/security services etc. the right to look at everyone's internet browsing history this really worries me too & I find myself feeling v paranoid & expecting a visit from the Police. Am I being over anxious? Id appreciate your thoughts.
    Thanks
    Ben
  6. I am a Christian, I feel I have failed God many times because of a fascination with pornography which I can't seem to shake off, it usually ends in masturbation and loads of shame. At times I have despaired of myself because just when I think I've managed to kick the habit I go back to it again.
     
  7. I have come across this forum and I strongly believe it could give real help to anyone who is facing porn/sex addiction.
    I am a 35 year old male with a beautiful wife and two amazing kids; I have been recovering for 4 months now (cold turkey) and I would love to give something back to people experiencing a similar situation. I went through the usual features of this horrible addiction: watching porn with increased levels of "sexual intensity", looking at escorts, reduced sex drive, masturbation, family problems, the guilt, the shame, the worry of being caught, etc.
    As already mentioned, I decided to go cold turkey and the psychological battle, especially in the first 4 weeks was immense... I needed all my inner strength and will power to fight this battle, but I never think for one second that I have won the war. It's a long road to changing my life and I am fully aware that I can't afford any slip ups. I don't think my mind will ever be free of the urges, but they certainly are much much weaker and considerably more controllable.
    Being free of the guilt, shame and worry has changed my life so much... My wife and I are so much happier and I have managed to get my life back.
    Being on this website and identifying the problem is the first step to recovery. Please feel free to get in touch with me on this forum and I will do my best to help.
    I wish you the best of luck