darren added a topic in Sex & Porn Addictionfinally admitted it to myself ...I finally admitted it...
To my self.
Probably over 10/15 years I've been struggling with sex addiction... in some way or another.
But only now I'm admitting it,
I guess I always thought I was just normal or just a cheat or that it was the other persons fault, not mine. I didn't want to admit it was something I was struggling with... it was the shamefulness of it all. Every time my addiction brought me to that point i had to act up on it... i felt like Jekyll & Hyde, Then just absolutely terrible after.
You fall into a sudden deep pool of despair & hatred towards your self afterwards, Which I can only imagine other addicts can only understand. My current partner is the only one that is forcing me to get help.. more for me than anything else, But I feel I'm not worth it and maybe thats just the depressed side of the addiction talking.
I feel I know how I feel inside, but just can't portray it on the outside.. to everyone else. I also hate talking about it as it makes it so much more real, which in hand makes me feel even more low & depressed.
I know if i focus and find a way I can beat this or at least control it for a normal, happier life... I NEED too. But now more than ever for the first time.. I WANT to!.
My names Darren and I'm a sex addict.
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