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Christine

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  1. Christine

    Polygraph Test Concerns

    To be able to respond to your concern I would need to know more about the type of test your husband did and also whether this also involved a therapeutic disclosure. I would not suggest a polygraph without the couple firstly undertaking a therapeutic disclosure.
  2. Christine

    Sexy images

    Millie Perhaps you could share with him why this is hurting you and ask him if he will stop because it is causing you hurt. I wonder how he would feel if you were doing the same but with men? The question to ask is why is he doing this when it is causing harm to his relationship and to you. Is this something he would be willing to stop if he knows it is hurting you.
  3. Christine

    New and ashamed

    Hi all Just wanted to let you all know, but particularly those who were seeking therapy for support, if people cannot afford the therapy offered by a qualified therapist at the Laurel Centre then where possible we can offer a reduced fee where you can work with someone who is a qualified therapist and who is training in the field of sex addiction. If you would still like support and have not been informed of this option please do not hesitate to contact the Laurel Centre and ask to be referred to a trainee therapist. Hopefully, this addiction will be one day be recognised in the same way that substance misuse is so that people can have access to support therapeutically, as part of a recovery plan. Take Care Christine
  4. Christine

    What I'm going through now

    Thank you for posting your story, this must have taken courage to face, write down and then decide to share. I hope your recovery goes from strength to strength.
  5. It might be worth speaking to someone at an organisation called Stopso or refer back to the Probation Service
  6. Hi The drip drip of disclosure and discovery is very painful and hurtful and it is important to allow yourself time, it is often difficult to make decisions when we are confused. Perhaps looking at the choices and talking though the pain and confusion are helpful to do with the counsellor. You have the option of considering a therapeutic disclosure which may help address the 'what you feel you need to know now,' it may also help you to think though the moving forward. Allow yourself time and when you are ready, the right to make a decision that is right for you. Ensure that you spend time taking care of you and not allowing this to dominate all of your day, although this is hard to do. Christine
  7. Hi It's a completely normal reaction to feel confused when you continue to discover more about the person you love and that he has an addiction of this nature, you have done the right thing by reaching out and getting support from a counsellor, if the counsellor is trained to support partners of people with addictions they will support you in addressing your confusion and being able to work out what is right for you. A therapeutic disclosure about all the behaviour may be beneficial to you before trying to make an informed decision. Talk this through with the counsellor as this may help you. Take care Christine
  8. Christine

    No compassion, no nothing

    I wonder if you need to allow yourself time before making any long term decisions, although whatever decision you make is yours to make and whether you stay together or decide to leave the relationship is completely your decision and their is no right or wrong decision in a situation like this. Christine
  9. Christine

    Only 18, is it worth trying again?

    Hi, just wondering, maybe it would be helpful if you did not put yourself in a position where you have to make a decision at the moment, it sounds like he has alot to sort out, you both have individual plans to attend Uni and that you have mixed views about the relationship. Just allow yourself time and permission not to have to make any further decisions for now and see how things go with your life and attending Uni. Time to grow and time apart might be helpful for you both right now and if you do decide to try again in the future then you might be clearer about one another's needs and feelings and what is okay for you within the relationship. Take care Christine
  10. Christine

    I really need help

    You can recover from this addiction and find other ways to manage past traumatic issues that have led to this need to self soothe and address the anxiety, have a look at the success stories on the forum and be encouraged - their is hope. Christine
  11. Christine

    End of 40-year marriage

    Thanks for having the courage to share your story on the forum, you have been through a long battle and I am glad that you have taken on the 3 C's in your own walk. I hope things work out for you in your future and that you are able to continue move away from destruction. Take care Christine
  12. Christine

    Struggling spouse

    It might be helpful to find someone who can support you both in your relationship who is trained at dealing with porn addiction but who is also a trained sex therapist. It might also help to visit your GP and talk through the issues and to look at whether there are any medical aspects of the issue, The site that this forum belongs to - 'The Laurel Centre' has trained therapists who could provide the appropriate support around relationships, sex, porn addiction and wanting to have a baby why not give them a ring and ask to speak with a therapist who is also trained in sex therapy. Your partner may need to address his underlying issues which led to the addiction as part of a recovery process and having a period of sexual abstinence, alongside recovery may help to reboot his system so that things improve for the future. Take care Christine
  13. Thank you for having the courage to acknowledge that porn is an issue for you. You might find it helpful to access the following website: www.pornaddictionhelp.co.uk this is a free resource that might be a helpful kickstart in getting support. Hope this helps. Christine
  14. Hi you might find it helpful to use the kick start recovery kit this is a free self help resource for sex and porn addiction and this may give you some direction the website address is: www.pornaddictionhelp.co.uk it might then be worth looking at meeting with a therapist to discuss your direction in more detail. Christine
  15. Christine

    Anger

    Kazzy The situation you are in sounds very difficult. I am wondering what support you are receiving at the moment? Violence is not acceptable in any situation and you may want to consider contacting an agency who support people who have experienced domestic abuse. The anger and intimidation and violence are not part of an addiction and cannot be justified in this way. As a partner, of someone with an addiction you may also find it helpful to seek support and have therapy for yourself. So that you can talk through your own feelings and the sense of craziness you are experiencing. Not knowing where you are or where you stand and not knowing whether one day you will be loved or hurt sounds unsafe and confusing. Perhaps it will help if you consider what is right for you and what is acceptable for you. I hope you find the courage to make some decisions that are about your self care and support. Take Care Christine
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