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  1. Christine added a post in a topic New and ashamed   

    Hi all
    Just wanted to let you all know, but particularly those who were seeking therapy for support, if people cannot afford the therapy offered by a qualified therapist at the Laurel Centre then where possible we can offer a reduced fee where you can work with someone who is a qualified therapist and who is training in the field of sex addiction. If you would still like support and have not been informed of this option please do not hesitate to contact the Laurel Centre and ask to be referred to a trainee therapist. Hopefully, this addiction will be one day be recognised in the same way that substance misuse is so that people can have access to support therapeutically, as part of a recovery plan. Take Care Christine
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  2. Christine added a post in a topic What I'm going through now   

    Thank you for posting your story, this must have taken courage to face, write down and then decide to share. I hope your recovery goes from strength to strength. 
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  3. Christine added a post in a topic Is anyone on, or been on the Sex Offenders' Register? OT?   

    It might be worth speaking to someone at an organisation called Stopso or refer back to the Probation Service
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  4. Christine added a post in a topic Do you ever know if you have the full story?   

    The drip drip of disclosure and discovery is very painful and hurtful and it is important to allow yourself time, it is often difficult to make decisions when we are confused. Perhaps looking at the choices and talking though the pain and confusion are helpful to do with the counsellor. You have the option of considering a therapeutic disclosure which may help address the 'what you feel you need to know now,' it may also help you to think though the moving forward. Allow yourself time and when you are ready, the right to make a decision that is right for you. Ensure that you spend time taking care of you and not allowing this to dominate all of your day, although this is hard to do. Christine
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  5. Christine added a post in a topic How do I know if he's telling the truth anymore?   

    It's a completely normal reaction to feel confused when you continue to discover more about the person you love and that he has an addiction of this nature, you have done the right thing by reaching out and getting support from a counsellor, if the counsellor is trained to support partners of people with addictions they will support you in addressing your confusion and being able to work out what is right for you. A therapeutic disclosure about all the behaviour may be beneficial to you before trying to make an informed decision. Talk this through with the counsellor as this may help you. Take care Christine
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  6. Christine added a post in a topic No compassion, no nothing   

    I wonder if you need to allow yourself time before making any long term decisions, although whatever decision you make is yours to make and whether you stay together or decide to leave the relationship is completely your decision and their is no right or wrong decision in a situation like this. Christine
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  7. Christine added a post in a topic Only 18, is it worth trying again?   

    Hi, just wondering, maybe it would be helpful if you did not put yourself in a position where you have to make a decision at the moment, it sounds like he has alot to sort out, you both have individual plans to attend Uni and that you have mixed views about the relationship. Just allow yourself time and permission not to have to make any further decisions for now and see how things go with your life and attending Uni. Time to grow and time apart might be helpful for you both right now and if you do decide to try again in the future then you might be clearer about one another's needs and feelings and what is okay for you within the relationship. Take care Christine
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  8. Christine added a post in a topic I really need help   

    You can recover from this addiction and find other ways to manage past traumatic issues that have led to this need to self soothe and address the anxiety, have a look at the success stories on the forum and be encouraged - their is hope. Christine
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  9. Christine added a post in a topic End of 40-year marriage   

    Thanks for having the courage to share your story on the forum, you have been through a long battle and I am glad that you have taken on the 3 C's in your own walk. I hope things work out for you in your future and that you are able to continue move away from destruction. Take care Christine
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  10. Christine added a post in a topic Struggling spouse   

    It might be helpful to find someone who can support you both in your relationship who is trained at dealing with porn addiction but who is also a trained sex therapist. It might also help to visit your GP and talk through the issues and to look at whether there are any medical aspects of the issue,  The site that this forum belongs to - 'The Laurel Centre' has trained therapists who could provide the appropriate support around relationships, sex, porn addiction and wanting to have a baby why not give them a ring and ask to speak with a therapist who is also trained in sex therapy. Your partner may need to address his underlying issues which led to the addiction as part of a recovery process and having a period of sexual abstinence, alongside recovery may help to reboot his system so that things improve for the future. Take care Christine 
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  11. Christine added a post in a topic Need support from other suffering from porn addiction   

    Thank you for having the courage to acknowledge that porn is an issue for you. You might find it helpful to access the following website:  this is a free resource that might be a helpful kickstart in getting support. Hope this helps. Christine
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  12. Christine added a post in a topic Really angry and unhappy with my addiction   

    Hi you might find it helpful to use the kick start recovery kit this is a free self help resource for sex and porn addiction and this may give you some direction the website address is: it might then be worth looking at meeting with a therapist to discuss your direction in more detail. Christine
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  13. Christine added a post in a topic Anger   

    The situation you are in sounds very difficult. I am wondering what support you are receiving at the moment? Violence is not acceptable in any situation and you may want to consider contacting an agency who support people who have experienced domestic abuse. The anger and intimidation and violence are not part of an addiction and cannot be justified in this way. 
    As a partner, of someone with an addiction you may also find it helpful to seek support and have therapy for yourself. So that you can talk through your own feelings and the sense of craziness you are experiencing. Not knowing where you are or where you stand and not knowing whether one day you will be loved or hurt sounds unsafe and confusing. Perhaps it will help if you consider what is right for you and what is acceptable for you. I hope you find the courage to make some decisions that are about your self care and support. Take Care Christine
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  14. Christine added a post in a topic University Dissertation on Sex Addiction...   

    Really pleased to hear that you want to look at doing some research in this area, why don't you contact Paula Hall and see whether your research could be beneficial to both yourself and her organisation. 
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  15. Christine added a post in a topic I can't stop paying for sex, getting ridiculous   

    Addictions often develop because we need to soothe (makes me feel better) and this can be because of unmet needs and issues that we are often unaware of, or because we don't feel we are 'good enough' because of what has happened to us or what has been said to us in the past. Addressing the unmet needs are an important part of addressing the behaviour and moving on into recovery. Keeping the addiction alive will reinforce the negative beliefs and keep you in the cycle of addiction. You have already shown great motivation and courage in the things you have put in place to change your life, but perhaps you need to think about getting support to deal with the unmet needs, so that you can feel better without the need to self soothe. Recovery is possible. Christine
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