PJ and Rob, many thanks for your replies, very interesting reading, much appreciated. I just think men and women view things differently I view it as a betrayal and I'm not pretty, slim, good enough in bed for him so he looking elsewhere. I wrote to a problem page about it and was told he probably looking as our sex life is lacking! Before this I would of said we had a brilliant relationship, never row, laugh all the time, have date nights every week, and lots of sex. Which is why it has come as a big shock. His only saving grace is that he is not looking at porn on the days he sees me (4xs a week)