Well done for making the first step in trying to stop what seems like a compulsive pattern of behaviour, and for trying to salvage your marriage. Have you managed to stay stopped since posting? It can be very hard and most people need to seek help. There are many ways to get help. I would suggest you read Paula Halls book "Understanding & Treatiing Sex Addiction" for addicts and suggest your wife reads the one for partners too. Then try to get yourself onto a group program, such as Paula Halls intensive recovery courses or a 12 Step group such as SAA or SLAA. It is also worth having some one to one Counselling to better understand how you became addicted and support in your recovery. There are a number of specialist counsellors who work in this field. Find the one locally to you through the ATSAC website. Good luck , Geraldine.
Hello Clare I am a counsellor and one of Paula Hall's Associates I can feel that this is an extremely distressing and difficult time for you and your husband right now. It seems from what you write here that you are being as supportive as you can be, whilst trying to facilitate your husbands facing up to his problems and taking responsibility for seeking help and aiming for recovery. It does indeed sound like sex addiction and trying to get him to go regularly to a group programme will hopefully get him on the road to working through his recovery. 12 step groups like SAA or SLAA can be very helpful. Or trying to encourage him to attend an intensive programme, like the kind that Paula runs (or other similar providers) You mention some underlying difficulties that your husband has from a troubled past. I tend to agree with your view that they may have led to his addictions. Seeking some one to one Counselling could help him work through these. I feel that you need some support for yourself to help you get through the pain of the impact his addictions are having on you. There is a 12 step group called COSA or other partner programmes. There are some very helpful books for partners such as Paula's or Stephanie Carnes called "Mending a shattered heart" Taking care of yourself is really important at times like these. Good luck. Geraldine