Hanginginthere

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About Hanginginthere

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  1. Hanginginthere added a topic in Partner Concerns   

    Triggers
    I'm currently reading Paula Hall's book 'Sex Addiction: The partners perspective' and when reading about triggers I could not see/feel any that I identified with. Until last night. 
    My husband had gone to see his dad in Dorset on Saturday, returning home on Sunday. He took our youngest child with him, leaving me with 2 at home (and the dog). I enjoyed my time alone with the kids, felt calm, slept well and had fun. 
    When he came home, I could see and feel a change in my behaviour. I had no patience or tolerance towards the kids, the dog constantly annoyed  me. I felt the need to talk about my feelings and where the kids had gone to bed my husband and I talked. It brings to the forefront again how I am still feeling in shock & trying to come to terms with his porn addiction. 
    Anyway, when we went to bed I started thinking about what I had read yesterday. And the excercizes in the book about thinking back on childhood experiences etc. I started feeling really tearful and sad. We talked a bit, he wanted a hug and I didn't. In fact I wanted him as far away as possible, back in Dorset if possible! I left the room for a bit, started feeling calmer. Returned to my bed, started feeling anxious again. And then I think I had a mild panick attack, as I realised HE is my trigger! I couldn't help but sob and tell him, I think YOU are my trigger. How do I avoid that? I'm the one who works, he looks after our kids. I can't leave, neither can he .....
    he offered to sleep elsewhere in the house, that has made me feel better. Still it's 4am and I'm awake, unable to sleep. Thinking constantly about everything, analysing everything. 
    What do I do, when HE is my trigger? How is this going to work?? 
    Feeling exhausted, alone and so confused. 
     
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  2. Hanginginthere added a post in a topic Where to go from here??   

    I am in a similar situation to you. Get this book, it helps & contact Paula Hall for a consultation & your husband needs to get help too! If he is motivated to stop? Mine is. 
    Book: sex addiction, the partners perspective by Paula Hall. 
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  3. Hanginginthere added a post in a topic Porn   

    You have made the first step & identified te problem. You now need to follow this through and get the professional help and I think your wife should know too. But I'm  not an expert, I've only just recently found out myself that my husband is addicted to porn. Finding out the hard way has been really shitty but we are working on it with the help of professionals & so I'm hanging on in there for now. 
    Start sorting this problem now!! Don't wait and follow what the specialist sex addiction professional advices (get a blocker on your internet & get rid of all your folders, browsers, memory sticks etc etc) throw it all away & start your recovery, it will be a life style change you need to make forever. 
    Good luck
     
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