Married for six years, together for twelve. I found out recently that my husband was having an affair with a woman from work. Started off with just one affair then everything grew from there. He has been seeing random people for sex for the past eight years. Going on hookup and affair websites. He has been meeting men, woman and transexuals for the purpose of fulfilling his desires. He enjoys anal sex and only meets people who will do this. We only occasionally did this together and he didnt mention it was an issue. He was physically - not sexually - abused by his father as a child which I think might have played a part- he never had a good childhood. He also states he watched a lot of porn and 'gradually worked up to this'. He says he is glad that I found out, that he wants to stop this behaviour and is booking to see a sex therapist. He is going to be reading your book and we watched your TEDtalk together. We are also seeing a marriage counseller. I have discussed this with my friend, who feels that I can stay with him but there is always a risk, he will always be an addict. I need to move forward with eyes wide open, be vigilant and accept that the dream I had for my life is over. I wanted to have children but I am now worried about that - what lengths is a person willing to go to fulfil his desire? You know what I am trying to say without putting it into words. There has been no inclination that he has done this, but how well do I know my husband? Is there any chance of recovery? What will be life be like? I don't want to be a spy, I want to be a wife so how do I know if he has recovered?