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NJJ

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About NJJ

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  1. I think you may have to accept he is on his own journey. Thats not to say that will be with or without you but maybe get some therapy yourself. Give yourself time then maybe reach out to him. I spent almost 20 years with my husband before finding out he is a SA. We have children, I love him very much, my first response was to fight for him. Thankfully we have had a great therapist that has worked with Paula and he has been involved from the start. It took a few months for my other half to stop petit slips and really get on track each time he did something stupid it broke my heart a fresh. I know how that feels and I am sorry you are in so much pain. Thankfully we are currently on track and my other half seems to be making great progress but he almost did as much damage whilst I waited for him be ready to make real changes as he did when I first found out. I can't say we are living a happy ever after but we are in a better position we have been in for years and we are committed but we have both really put the work in and are continuing do so. I hope it goes well for you. I can read how much pain your in. Good therapy shouldn't have told him to cut ties with you, unless that is his choice but if he isn't responding maybe he needs time. Maybe he isn't really ready or committed to his therapy. I can't tell you what he is thinking. I think you have to deal with the pain you are in and the damage this has caused you for now. I'm so sorry.
  2. Having been there on this! I would say this may have been a slip rather than acting out. It may be he was at the preparation stage (assuming you've seen the addiction diagram, its in the partners book written by Paula rather than just the sex addict book) whereby he was all ready to act out but decided not too. I understand the pain this causes and the rage.
  3. Absolutely not your fault the 3 partnering C's of addiction. I didn't Cause it I can't Control it I can't Cure it I suggest you read Paulas book for partners if you haven't already. It really helps also you need therapy together if you can afford it that will help tremendously.
  4. Paula has written a book for partners, you can also buy it on the kindle app etc. I would recommend reading it. I can't advise you on his position but I think the book would really help,].
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