Diana72

Hi guys, I’m writing as I feel so sad and alone and I feel like I need support from someone who is maybe going through something similar. My boyfriend and I are together for 6 months, we live together for the past 2. It was the best relationship I have ever had. He was so kind and loving, treating me like a princess always. I knew something about his past, like his toxic relationship with his mother. She was very dominant and aggressive. She had him very young, at age 16. He has no relationship with his father. I witnessed a lot of discussions between him and his mother. Later talking about it he told me that his mother used to be a prostitute for a while and when he was a child used to see his mother in the house always with different men. I felt so bad for him. I was always there for him and we had a such an amazing relationship. It all changed when one day he received a message from a stranger talking about sex. I froze as I was next to him and could read the message. I asked him about it and he said that he needs to tell me something. Basically, he said that he always felt a bit obsessed with sex and was looking for situations that I felt are not normal. The things he told me made my stomach turn. I only saw that in films. He said that basically he tried everything. Sex with prostitutes, with couples, he even slept with men. I froze. I couldn’t believe that the man I love did all those things. We had a very long conversation about it all and I was struggling every single day after that to continue with him because I felt so disgusted with it all. This happened about a month ago. And when I finally decided to leave the things in the past I had another shock. His mother yesterday decided to tell me that he is a bad person showing me screenshots of adds he put online looking for sex. I knew that he did it before he met me but I found out that he did it twice while we were together. I feel completely lost. I confronted him about it and he didn’t deny it, he said that he put the adds but didn’t actually do anything because he felt so ashamed doing such things while being with me. He was crying so much and begging me not to leave him, saying that he has an addiction that sometimes he cannot control and that he needs help. He wants to see a psychiatrist and “cure himself” of this because he says he regrets it all so much, feels ashamed and it affects his daily life. He says he feels like he has a demon inside him that’s tearing him apart. I want to forgive him but I can’t trust him anymore. I was reading so much about sex addictions and I see him in every article and it’s so sad. He swears he loves me, says he wants to marry me and form a family one day, but everything changed for me. Sorry for a such a long post, I am hoping that there is someone in a similar situation or with some experience on the topic that can give me an advice or some hope that this can be resolved. Thank you so much