Thank you. I have often thought about the Truth and Reconciliation process in S Africa and wondered in awe at their ability to forgive. I have forgiven him more times than I can remember but the last time was unforgivable. He agrees that it was unforgivable given all that had gone before. Part of the problem is that I would never have hurt him like that. I would have sought help if I was hurting my spouse so much. He admits he loved porn more than my happiness. He loved porn more than me or his family. He now agrees that the issue is not about porn but about honesty. None of us can have everything we want. We have to make choices. If he wanted porn, he should have been honest and taken the consequences. At last, 2 years after his last relapse, we are getting somewhere. There are no more excuses from him. Porn addiction does not mean you cheat. Porn addiction does not mean you lie repeatedly. Maybe if he continues to face the truth, I will hate him less. BTW, I spent the first one and the half year after his last relapse pleading, cajoling, supporting him to seek help. Finally, he has sought help. Now, my feelings have come to the fore. It seems as though at last I can look after myself and it is now my turn to work through my emotions. I am not dealing with his addiction any more. I have to deal with my conflicting emotions.