Help!!!

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  1. Help!!! added a post in a topic Back to London   

    Hi Yiksob11. Sounds like you are planning all the right strategies to prevent slipping. Good luck and stay strong
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  2. Help!!! added a post in a topic My Story   

    Thank you Yiksob11 and PJ for your insightful replies and good wishes. Finding this site is a real boost for me in making me accept I'm not some sort of freak and others have and are going through similar.
    I've had a good week since last week' slip. Had time on my own in the house but with no thought of slipping. Went back and read my initial post which serves to remind me of what I want to achieve.
    PJ, I totally understand where you're coming from and you may be 100% right in saying I can'tdo this alone, however disclosure to my wife at least at this stage is not something I can do. Never say never but right now my total focus is on staying clean. Strangely though since finding this site I really dont feel that im doing this alone. Thanks again for your words of support. Really means a lot.
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  3. Help!!! added a topic in Sex & Porn Addiction   

    My Story
    Hi all. I discovered this site on 23rd October after another weekend of acting out. I found some of the stories so inspirational. Found myself nodding in agreement as so much of what others have gone through resonates with me. I had stayed 100% clean from that date.....until this weekend where after yet another slip I feel I'm back to Square 1!
    So what's my story? I think I discovered porn in my mid teens. A very shy guy growing up I never really had much luck with the opposite sex. Didn't lose my virginity until my mid twenties but all that time porn was my substitute. My emotional crutch when stressed, lonely sad or whatever. Anyway with the digital age, added to my porn addiction has come chat rooms where I seek cyber and phone sex. 
    I'm 51 now. I've been married for 7 years to a wonderful woman who I love more than anything. No she has no idea about my problem. It would break her heart...and selfishly mine too if she were to find out. I haven' physically cheated on her but shamefullly the porn, cyber and phone sex has continued at various intervals during our marriage.
    Having worked through Paulas Kick Start Recovery I have a clear understanding of my addiction of the roots of my addiction. Beating it of course is something else! I discovered new found motivation when I first found its site. So why did I slip? One of my triggers is loneliness and my wife has been away for this weekend. I mentally prepared for this and planned lots of positive things to do with my time. However I have a very stressful job and I have had something really big hanging over me from work this weekend. Stress is another trigger so I guess the two combined and I slipped again. Usual feelings of shame etc coupled with a renewed determination to beat this.
    For anyone who has taken the trouble to read this far, thank you. I have found writing this quite therapeutic and would appreciate any thoughts or advice from anyone on this forum. Im not a bad person. I just just have a very bad problem which I need to address. My motivation is to lead a happy, healthy life and be the husband that my wife deserves.
    Good luck to you all 
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