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About Anon89

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  1. Anon89 added a post in a topic My husband is addicted to sex workers   

    Please do! X 
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  2. Anon89 added a post in a topic My husband is addicted to sex workers   

    I’m so sad to hear that you’re going through this as well. It’s such a shocking time on so many levels. It really really is, it’s not just the lies and betrayal, it’s the debt, the health implications, the future. It’s everything. 
    I’ll PM you, we can support each other through this. Xx
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  3. Anon89 added a topic in Partner Concerns   

    My husband is addicted to sex workers
    I have just experienced the worst two weeks of my life. 
    My partner and I have been together for 6 years, married for a year and bought a house together earlier this year. I thought everything was going so well, we were so happy, or so I thought.
    Two weeks ago I made the startling discovery that my husband has been sleeping with escorts. Throughout our whole relationship, not only that but I also discovered a whole load of debt (£4K!) on a credit card which I knew nothing about, and emails to an online doctor service asking for treatment for chlamydia. It has come as a huge shock to me, huge shock. It’s really affected me in so many ways. I asked him to leave and he’s gone to stay with his family but he is having to come back ‘home’ next week. 
    I have literally felt every emotion under the sun. From anger to disgust to hatred to blaming myself to stress to upset. Just about every emotion. 
    I have told close family and friends and they have all been very understanding. Well as much as they can be in this situation. It has come as such a shock to everyone. 
    We have made progress, he has come clean to me, and his family and a close friend. He has gone to the GP, who have diagnosed him with depression and given him anti-depressants. I have been to relate for counselling for myself, and obviously got myself checked for STIs (still anxiously awaiting results!) and he has arranged to meet with a counsellor specialising in this on Weds. I have also downloaded the book for partners by Paula Hall and it is a very interesting, eye opening read which I can very much relate to. He has also purchased the other book by Paula Hall for him. 
    So, he is ashamed of himself, he physically threw up as he told me. He wants help, we are making the right steps. I just fear there is no hope - I’m not sure if we’ll survive this. I’m not going to be someone who needs to check his phone, emails, bank accounts because that is absolutely no life for me either. It’s affected enough of my life already, I can’t let it consume anymore. 
    I just feel so lost, so numb, so confused by it all. It’s just taken me by total surprise. Our sex life was okay, in recent months it’s hardly been anything but I put that down to myself being busy. I feel like I don’t know him anymore, that I’ve seen a side to him I really don’t like, I just don’t know what more we can do. Feel so sad, because underneath this all he is such a lovely kind caring man, he really is. I do love him - which some may find hard to believe after all of this, but I do. 
    Is there anything more I can do? He can do? Anymore help or advice? 
    Thank you so much for reading - I’m sorry it’s so long I just needed somewhere to vent.
    • 8 replies