Rosie added a topic in Partner ConcernsIs there hope?Hi Paula and fellow forum members, I'm nervous to start but absolutely had to share somewhere as I'm completely exhausted and my head is about to explode.
Long story short here as its 4.30am and I need to try to sleep, though it's still pretty wordy! Sorry.
I'm trying to find a specialist, affordable option for therapy for him/us after discovering sex addiction a few months back, he started seeing a therapist but she isn't specific, also I suspect he's been manipulating her reactions and playing a martyr as what he's come back saying indicates and I'm pretty convinced he's been in denial and 'white knuckling' this addiction mainly. He's very good at charming (aren't they all) and bringing out motherly instinct in women so I'm feeling like he's just been skirting around it and not actually facing things.
Anyway, lately he has fallen into huge depression/anger/anxiety blaming work and saying he doesn't actually think he has a sexual compulsion issue, hugest red flag when he suddenly lost sexual interest in me (our sex life has always been volcanic) ignored my flirtations (!) and started becoming hugely distant and detached.
I suspected it was this sex addiction 'cycle' but desperately wanted to think the best... lo and behold he 'relapsed' I discovered he's started using private browser settings and by utter chance I saw a page relating to prostitutes, he claims he just gets off looking, I'm probably the biggest fool if I believe that. I've no idea if we will remain together or what the truth is but he wants us to go to a therapist together.
I keep pressing the need for it to be an experienced specialist in this field if we go, or even just for him if we split and he's ever going to tackle this! I think anything else is wasting time/money and is avoidance IMO.
He mentioned relate but I think that is still too 'general' pls help with any advice/encouragement or just plain reason as I'm half crazy with sadness, feeling helpless and constantly on the edge of a panic attack. Sorry for the verbal diarrhoea and Thankyou for any advice in advance. warmest thoughts to others here going through this, it's a special kind of hell
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